You Only Go Once (Y.O.G.O.)
Cheryl and Eileen explore different topics around the limited time we have on this earth to create a fully layered life. Because...You Only Go Once!
You Only Go Once (Y.O.G.O.)
The Power of Passion and Resilience: A Conversation with Hadiyah Muhammad
Prepare to be inspired as we journey alongside Hadiyah Muhammad, a classically trained soprano turned technologist. Her life is a testament to the power of passion, creativity, and resilience. From performing in various choirs throughout her school years to traveling the world teaching and sharing her craft, Hadiyah's journey is a fascinating exploration of the intersection of art and technology. She shares how she transitioned her focus from performing to her professional life, all while keeping her love for singing alive and thriving.
A deep dive into the conversation uncovers the profound concept of 'flow' through creative expression and the beauty of sharing moments through performances. Has the digital age affected the authenticity of creative expression? We navigate this and other intriguing questions, examining how social media has changed the landscape for artists and creatives. We also unfold the importance of celebrating shared moments, even in times when physical gatherings are not possible.
The episode concludes on a high note, musing on core values, the role of mentors, and the satisfaction derived from personal growth and development. Ever pondered upon the enriching path of self-reflection and self-awareness? Hadiya delves into her own experiences, starting as a young Girl Scout to a successful professional, shedding light on how these practices have shaped her life. We also unpack the unexpected opportunities the pandemic has presented for personal creativity and self-improvement. Brace yourself for an episode teeming with insightful discussions, uplifting stories, and the inspiration you need to chase your dreams.
Hi, I'm Hadiya Muhammad and I hope that when you look back on your life, you've enjoyed the journey, because you only go once, unless you're reincarnated.
Speaker 2:Welcome listeners to another episode of you Only Go Once. I am Eileen Grimes and I am here with my co-host, cheryl Contafio. We have an amazing guest tonight and we've already been talking so much so we just had to get it kicked off and get officially started in the rest of our conversation. So, cheryl, I'm going to let you introduce.
Speaker 3:All right, thank you, hadiya. Muhammad is a black woman and a technologist. She's viciously independent and a peace junkie. She is a trained soprano and a process architect. She is a food enthusiast and a design thinker. She is a nerd with a growth mindset. Basically, she's awesome. Please welcome Hadiya. Thank you, hadiya.
Speaker 2:Thank you Hello, hello we should get one of those like the audio tracks, that's like all the people in the background. Yeah, the was wasn't Little claps. Yeah, little claps.
Speaker 1:Thank you guys. It's nice to be here. I'm so glad that you guys did this. I'm excited that this is happening, I feel like I saw it coming. You know we talked about podcasts for work, stuff in a path life, and I'm just glad that it came with fruition. So super cool yes.
Speaker 2:Well it's. I mean it's fun and you're one of those people. So we've all worked together in a past life, and the three of us definitely. I mean there was always something fun about whenever we would get together. And there's this you sit with some people and like ideas blossom I don't know how, but they just do and when you're with the right people, this is definitely one of those groups that I loved being with any you know, either one of you and it was like oh, here's like 20 more things we could do, and you know it was. It was always an adventure, in thinking when I was with with either of you. So we'll see where tonight goes. We have some questions sets to help keep us on the rails, but you know let's see what happens.
Speaker 2:Yeah, good luck.
Speaker 1:Oh, good luck rails.
Speaker 2:Seriously so train soprano. I mean, I kind of knew that you. I knew that you were a singer. Sorry, I'm just jumping into bio stuff here. Right, where did you train? What is what does that look like? What did you do when? Where have you performed? Like, tell me more.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 1:So, um, I put that in there so I would have to potentially talk about it, because I kind of keep it in the pocket. Um, like, there are people there are probably people that may or may not, you know come across this podcast at some point and be like I've known you for 10 years. So I do kind of keep it in the pocket. But we'll start from the beginning. I think I started voice lessons when I was like six or seven. I was little, and I think it was something that happened because, um, my mom was looking for constructive things for me to do and, um, I was raised by a single mother, so there was always like equal parts we need to keep you involved and busy and enriched. And you know, like, I have multiple jobs and places I have to be and stuff, so I ended up doing some stuff. But, um, so I took the lessons and I had a wonderful voice coach her name was Denise and then I ended up, I think shortly after I had taken lessons for maybe like two or three years, I went to boarding school and they had all kinds of like choir stuff and you know, so I was just like I am a doer, I'm going to do that. I'm involved. So I was in every choir you could be in through elementary and middle school and high school and I might have been in two or three choirs in high school. Yep, three varsity choir, there was a jazz situation, and then there was a gospel situation and then there was a choir you could take as a class. By the time I got to undergrad and we traveled a little bit, I guess for the grade school stuff. But by the time we got to the college level we traveled quite a bit like around the states and maybe like once or twice a year, maybe once a year, a big trip like somewhere fancy in the states or somewhere abroad. And then by the time I graduated college we had formed a 501c3 that was like a continuation of the people that had been in that class. Oh cool, yeah, and then it was like South Africa and stuff like that. So, yeah, I have performed to answer your question succinctly, I have performed around the world and in the states as a member of an ensemble, as a soloist, as a for teaching stuff, which is cool, at choir conferences. We were in a choir conference in South Korea at one point.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so singing to me is kind of like it's been. It has been. I don't do it as much anymore. In fact, some of my friends are going to Argentina this month and I am not going. I bought a house. I was just like, yep, no, but it's been this kind of thing that I wanted to do. I felt compelled to do that, gave back to me in a way, if that made any sense, because I don't think I would be able to say, yeah, I've been to France twice without that. So I'm grateful for that experience, for sure.
Speaker 1:But I don't talk to people about it much because I find that people are always like it. My training is sort of classical, so it's like people are always like saying something and I'm like, no, like, I'm mostly like I'm here, it's mostly like at work or something, and I'm just like I'm here to work. I don't want to sing Ave Maria for you, so, um, right, right. So I think that's where most people's heads go. Oh, and I forgot to say the choir that's a class was started. I'll try to get this right. I'll probably screw the story up, but it was started because of an MLK day performance. That was a collaboration of all the choir, many choirs and choir members at Penn State.
Speaker 1:So if you can imagine like Glee Club and gospel choir ish people, and then like varsity choir people and like some random you know.
Speaker 1:I don't know cultural singing group, like anybody that wanted to be involved. They were like we're going to get together and we're going to teach you some spirituals, and they were like cool. And then that became this group called Essence of Joy, which is like I guess it's kind of centered around kind of like African American experience, I guess. So like spirituals, gospel music, stuff like that. So if you can imagine classically arranged spirituals, interesting, yeah, yeah, and then singing those with people from Thailand, I'm like you know this song too. Oh, you sing soprano too. Stand next to me, yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh wow, yeah, so it's been. It's definitely a gift, it's definitely been eye-opening, it's definitely been something that is, I would say that something that's like kind of galvanizes people, because I'm in France and I'm teaching a community choir. You know gospel songs that's, and like your favorite gospel artist is Kirk Franklin, okay, come, stand here clapping the wrong way, go this way. But somebody actually has me on tape. It was like 10 years ago or something but somebody actually has me on tape holding a woman's shoulders to get her this way, the right way, performing.
Speaker 3:That's hilarious.
Speaker 1:So yeah, and my personality remains consistent, whatever I'm saying.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's not.
Speaker 2:No, that's spot on yeah.
Speaker 1:There's that point and it was all out of love. But I was like Mama, we got to go the other way. But yeah, so that's the singing part is. It's near and dear to my heart, but I don't talk about it a lot. I guess Maybe I should talk about it more now that I think about it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I like to pop in on choirs. It's weird, it's so weird, that's cool. It's like one of my friends was like, hey, we're doing this performance with a gospel artist, but he was singing in front of like an orchestra with a choir. And one of my friends one year was like, hey, you should come, we need sopranos. And I was like, how many practices a week is it? Because I'm also a choir snob. And I was like, can I learn the music and show up for not 18 practices? And she was like, maybe, anyway, choir snob that I am, I did go and I did like do that type of thing and that kind of taught me that I can. I can still. I don't have to be fully engaged in choir like every night to still be involved, because reading music is a gift. So we'll take it. Yeah, yes, definitely. That's the singing story?
Speaker 2:Wow, I had. No, I mean right, I knew like the tip of the iceberg, just basically that you sang, that's it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So, I kind of keep it to myself because people are like you mean, like you sing, like you know, like in the shower, and I'm like, yeah, you know also other things, but sure, and the car on the way to work, yeah, right, yeah, so I, I word that weird group of friends that, oh, here's the singing story. You guys might like yeah, I was in New Orleans with people that are my friends that happen to also be choir people, and I I lied to you, not, we went into this like dueling. I think it was like a dueling piano bar, maybe, just, maybe just a one piano bar. Anyway, it was a bar and there was a woman who looked like Stevie mix, who is singing songs by Stevie mix, and we sat at a table near the woman singing and proceeded to sing background vocals for and she, she was like that is great, keep doing that. Wow, just hung out for a while. So much fun. Thanks for this lady. Yeah, she was good, we had a good time. Oh, so amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it is fun. So you're obviously classically trained. Is there a style that you like the best or that just brings you the most joy?
Speaker 1:Well it's, I really liked the, I really liked the arrangements that we do that are more like that are like well, I don't know, I can't, I don't think I can pick one. There's jazz stuff that we like that's fine, we're that are jazz stuff that I really like.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Like there's a more jazzy version of St Louis Blues that we did. That I thought was cool. I don't know if I looked at the most, because it was one of the. It was one of the more present solos that I had and I was just like in my head like someone else should sing this. It's a lot of me. I don't like it to be other people, but and then there's like stuff that the spirituals that you would expect to be sung one way because you've seen it like that in a movie, but it's actually like more like I'll be Maria or something like that, right? So I don't know if I could say I like a certain style, because being able to we were really blessed to have people involved in what we were doing that really just got the music and really can pull things out of the group. So being able to work with people that can do different styles is probably my favorite thing, right, I have a.
Speaker 1:I have a friend I haven't talked to in a while she probably reached out to her that went to Berkeley the music, the music, berkeley and she got a song. It was about scatting and I was just like the fun part to me was I learned that people I knew every day could do extra stuff. I was like scatting, huh, sure, you're going to do that. And she was like, yeah, I got it, and I'm just like she is the blondest bluest-eyed person in the world, so you don't, I did not think that the scatting would come out of her, but it did, you know. So I don't know.
Speaker 1:Just, I think my favorite thing is all of the different things. We have a friend that plays the fiddle and the violin. He's in a bluegrass band. Wow and yeah, and they've like won awards, like I went to see them play and they're awesome. But just finding out things about people like not only I knew you played this thing, but I didn't know like you played it, like you know. So my favorite style is awesome and it usually has to do with those people that you just you're like, oh, you, oh, okay, you're going to yep, I just want to fasten it.
Speaker 2:Bye everyone until next week. I mean, there's, I don't know. To me at least, just thinking of the voice as an instrument is just. It's so amazing what can be done with that in so many different ways, and I don't feel like we. I don't feel like we see that as much. You know, when someone's like oh, you're just a singer, well, it's not easy.
Speaker 1:And the crazy thing about it is it being a singer means so many different things. So for me it's like there's all these people on TikTok now that like are singing things that are that probably would have been background singers in a different world without socials. But because I guess maybe one of the good things about social media is people are getting a front seat to experience these people without a lot of the normal obstacles and barriers, in a way.
Speaker 3:So they're just kind of like like for me.
Speaker 1:There's this kid, there's this. He's not a kid, he's a man. There's this guy called Peter Collins and he literally plays his voice like an instrument. Oh cool, everyone else should quit. That's how good he is. Wow, wow, amazing. And I'm just like how would I have known that he existed without socials? You know, so it really is. You're right, it's really a gift For me. It's always interesting to see somebody like just live in their moment. You know when they're singing something. You know what I mean, because it's just like oh, this is how you really feel about this song. Huh, you know, that's the good part.
Speaker 1:Those are the good parts.
Speaker 2:It's funny, as you were talking about stuff before, I was thinking of flow right, like that some people talk about when they're writing or when they're playing sports or things like that, and that's the. I mean that to me, that's what that is right. It's that flow of like I'm so deeply embedded in what this experience is and that is what is coming out as I'm expressing all of that.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I like to tell people when they have that moment, that that's the sound that your soul makes. So the and it's it's like. Everybody that sings doesn't have those moments all the time, right, yeah, and that happens and I think we recognize it. If you are a part, if you sing, if you dance, if you're a part of something, that is creative expression. When someone has that moment, it's like, oh, look, it's like. If it's somebody you know, it's like, it just is. I think it's a like, it's a bigger thing, like when I'm like, oh, this person is singing this song today, I'm gonna reach down and give him a shoe, like that's that is. It's a deep. I think it's a deeper moment when you're like I know that person, you know what they're experiencing in their life right now. I know where that emotion is coming from. You know and you know what it's. I agree to do a good job. I receive it. So, yeah it's.
Speaker 1:I think the gift about being able to travel with this group is that we've been able to like to have those moments together, if that makes any sense, and to make people cry. It's weird. The first time I sang a solo and someone cried, I was like, are you sure it's just me? I don't think so, and you should check your notes. But it's weird. It's weird to be, to have that experience. But it's funny, though, when people come up to you after and they're like you know, my grandmother used to sing that song, or this was so moving, or whatever.
Speaker 1:So I learned I had to learn a new set of skills with that, because I can be like okay, I had to learn those moments. So I had to learn Act right. Yes, I had to pull it together and act right in those situations, because I got to tell you the first two times. It must have been really bad, but I figured it out over the years and it's yeah, but I will. As an undergrad, I'm sure the first one, I was just like why are you touching my hand? Let me go. I was the worst, but I was going to say the same thing is true, I mean, about dancers. You know, if you see somebody do something and it's just like that's not even the choreography, that's your interpretation of the choreography but you go, because that's your moment right there.
Speaker 1:I think those are. Those are those moments that I'm starting to value more in life. Right as you get older and you realize where your priorities are, I'm starting to value those more. And just celebrating moments with people. You know if they're doing something I'm not doing. Somebody is, you know, maybe they're a painter and they got something placed in the gallery, going to support them there and seeing how happy they are and stuff like that. So it's been, even though I'm not going to Argentina with the people. I'm sure one of them is going to listen to this and be like but you didn't come to Argentina, I didn't. You're right, it's true, you got me, yep, but I still get it. I still get it. I'm not sure I can't guarantee I'm going to be on a trip anytime soon, but we'll figure it out.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think I mean that's, like you said, sort of those creative endeavors, right, whether it's singing, writing a book of poetry that's coming out soon, or Are you doing that Cheryl's poetry? Oh, is that Cheryl's book of poetry? I didn't know. Okay, oh, sorry, I'm so sorry. Yes, I still have her book finally in hand physically. Now that is what is coming out. So I didn't know it was poetry. That's okay, yeah, it's poetry yeah, Okay good. Yeah. I don't know, maybe I thought it was a short story or something.
Speaker 3:Okay, no, no, it was a surprise to me too, so that's okay. Yeah, I like it. That's a whole other thing. So Okay, yeah.
Speaker 2:I think that expression of and it can be two ways, right, like you said, it can be me sharing my soul, but it can also be someone else's soul receiving that in a way that speaks to them. And what an amazingly vulnerable place to really see and feel each other in a way Like that doesn't happen at work Excuse me, corporate America, it doesn't. If you work in singing, maybe, but Maybe, maybe, sure, we'll go there, right, but like, yeah, I'm not going to cry because of someone's PowerPoint presentation, but they're sharing the financial, whatever I might.
Speaker 1:Well, maybe Cheryl does, but Depending on how long the presentation is.
Speaker 3:It's different kind of tears. Please stop. What is it? Oh, thank you Right, make it stop.
Speaker 1:Oh man, why is there a whole seven paragraphs on this one slide?
Speaker 2:And you're reading every word. I can read.
Speaker 1:Oh man, yeah, so I think, and that's why we I can't even remember what when I first encountered this but and leadership classes and girls' gouts, like throughout my life, I've always come back to this exercise where you talk about you talk to yourself, I guess about what your core values are, and I found that mine, they didn't. They haven't changed much over the years. Like I really value honesty and integrity Hasn't changed much. Yeah, I like learning and enrichment Hasn't changed much. But I bumped a couple of things for humor in that pandemic time because I was like this is what's going to happen. We're going to get these jokes. That's what's going to happen.
Speaker 1:I am not going to, you know, living through these life events, right, I guess if you're of a certain generation, you've seen quite a few life events and major things happening with the world, right, but if you're around for 9-11 and so on and so forth, all the way to the COVID times, yeah, and I was like, wait, I was just like, hmm, I think humor is one I don't even know if I should put that there, but that's what it's going to be and it just Things that'll I kind of gravitated towards, things that allowed me to kind of honor my core values. And that's where I got to a place where I was just like, hmm, not going to be able to change everything about corporate America, but where can I find the humor? Where can I find the learning opportunities? Where can I find the honesty and integrity? Right, and I think that's why we ended up having those conversations we had and we were all in the past life working together, because we were just like this is a place where we can be ourselves.
Speaker 2:So when you sort of sat down to define this, I love the activity of thinking about what is actually important to me, what do I believe in, what do I want to live on a day-to-day basis, and then what does that look like in terms of having a fulfilling life. So how did you sit down? Did you sit down in that? What did you do to kind of help yourself see those in obviously a reflective way? You have them listed and named right. So what was that for you?
Speaker 1:So the good news about now is when you do like leadership seminars or even if you just want to do it yourself, if you Google core values, there's all kinds of like decks and lists and stuff. So you have thought starters to kind of get you started. I think the first time I did it, honestly I was a little tight and we were Girl Scouts and they were like this is what Girl Scouts are, you know, tear your fingers, do this and stuff. Say the oath, sell the cookies. But listen, one of the first activities, one of the first poems I should say that I had chat GPT right, because I'm again tinkering was an ode to fitments, so I understand.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's amazing. Okay, I love it.
Speaker 1:Yep, yep, at some point I'll send it to you guys. You can see it.
Speaker 2:I love it.
Speaker 1:Yes, please Do that. But I think for me the first time was just some women that were the leaders of my Girl Scouts troop, like listing things on a board and saying like, what do you think are the things that you want to be? I think it's the way they phrased it. And then, as I grew up, I kind of rephrased it for myself, going to the point where if I saw it in like a management training or a leadership camp or something like that, I was like, oh, this is the same exercise we did when we were little, and they would have like worksheets right For leadership camp when we were in high school, or they would have like a facilitator come out and kind of do an exercise with you when I was in like different management training during my career. And now I have a deck of cards because they're on Amazon and you can get them. So on a regular basis I kind of just go through my cards and I kind of go are these still? Are these my cards? Is this my hand? I love that, yeah. So I just think it's worth. Like I said, since the pandemic I don't think they've shifted much for me, but I think it's worth doing. I think it's worth.
Speaker 1:One of the questions that I asked my friends. I have a new house, so I've had friends over a couple of times and one of the questions that I've asked some of my friends probably not all of them is, if you don't define yourself as your job and you don't define yourself as like, yes, are you a mom or your wife, like as the things that you just are because you are right, what else are you? So, and you know, if any of them listen to this, I'm like we should have this conversation. But that's where you kind of get your. You start to identify your core goals because you're like, if I had to limit it down to you know eight, five to ten things or something like that, what would those things be? The ones that I think this is who I am or this is who I want to be the most you know so.
Speaker 1:So I just I kind of thought about it and I was like I think these are them, and I get flack when I have these conversations because I have honesty on my list but not kindness, and that's dangerous, yeah, because honesty without kindness is can be mean. So I have to watch that for myself because I'm like kindness isn't, I don't think, and I had to do some some. It's like when you do that, you have to think about, alright, how can I temper this right or how, or where, and you talk to people about yourself, right, you know like, where do I Maybe need to tweak some things? So maybe it's not just honesty, maybe it's kind or honesty or something like that, because I can't and I can't remember where I've seen that recently. I think I've seen it in a, like a movie or something. But honesty without kindness can be mean, so you have to watch that one interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, maybe it's like an empathetic honesty.
Speaker 1:So it's like it's it for me. The list has helped me, hopefully. Yeah, it's helped me by knowing what's not on it, because I'm like humor is on it, because that.
Speaker 3:I needed that.
Speaker 1:Do I still need that, like I needed it in 2020? Right, hmm, does he? You're on it? Creativity is on it. Is that ever gonna be off? Probably not.
Speaker 3:No, yeah, and I hope it never is because you are a creative human being, and that would be a crime, that would be a travesty.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, but I think there are some spots where you're like, hey, in this stage of my life, do I need this one? Do I need this one? How many are there really, you know? So it's a good exercise, I found for me just to kind of keep me honest and and to try to be self-aware, because you have to, you have to continually just be self-aware and try to do the, do the inventory work, you know, stuff like that. But yeah, creativity will probably never, never leave.
Speaker 3:I.
Speaker 1:Don't know how to not do it. Coming out of the pandemic, I had taught myself to braid my own hair. I started painting, I Gotta. I started to make beef, like I was like I'm gonna produce tracks for rap songs.
Speaker 1:I don't even have any rap songs. Fine, I'm gonna produce tracks for hip-hop art. I think that's what I want to do. So the pandemic just kind of made me I'm gonna publish a coloring book, like the pandemic just kind of gave me space to just be like, what else can I do? And now I have a mess of paintings and, you know, audio files and Hairstyles, lots of hair styles. I love that.
Speaker 2:You're a creator for sure. Like there, you should not not be, and I don't know how you turn it off. I don't think that's possible.
Speaker 1:It would be sad. It would be sad. Yeah, I think that Creative expression can be, you know, an important part of any person's life, and For me, though, I had to figure out where to put it, because I was like I am a creator and here I am, at this job, and I can create things and it will help, but In this it like, in the same regard, the job has to be willing to accept that creativity. Yeah, right, sure, and if you are in any way, in my experience, from from my perspective if you are any way ahead of what the job is prepared to do at any given time, they're gonna be in a lot of knows involved in that, right, yeah, so I had to figure out okay, can, can I be creative here?
Speaker 1:Do I need to be creative where I work? One, can I be creative here? And and if, if the answer is yes to one and no to the other, hack and can I adjust? Or what? What do I need to do? Right, to be a whole person? Oh, yeah, and that's me. So, yeah, creative to be is a big core goal, or core value, or core part of Some some at some point I'll get to the internet sentence but of me. Yeah, there it is.
Speaker 2:Got it, we got there, so I love that, do you? How often do you kind of re look at that? Do you keep them with you all the time? Is there any kind of pattern or frequency to which you look and review what those are?
Speaker 1:Okay, so I have a lot of lists and stuff, but I don't don't judge me, but the core values I look at every year and it's kind of like. It's kind of like what a corporation does every kind of further their goal setting because they have a mission and a vision, right, yeah, so I don't. I don't know that as a purpose. I as a purpose, I don't know that as a person. I have nailed my purpose like this is my purpose. If you guy, you know all the things, yep, um, but I think I think I'm getting closer to it.
Speaker 1:But what I try to do is I try to go all right, what do I think my overarching kind of goals are as it relates to my purpose? How do my core values align to my purpose every year? So you know how people are like, hey, these are my new year's resolutions. Mm-hmm, yeah, I'm kind of like I don't really do resolutions, like I'm never like I need to lose 20 pounds. I'm more like, okay, who do I think this person is? What do I think this person's core goals are right? Okay, and then I try to align my, my core goals to my, my, my. I try to align my core values to my goals for that year, yeah, um, and then you know, every quarter I kind of just I Look at it again, I go this, this makes sense. I allow myself to shift, because sometimes you set your goal at the beginning year and then life it lives, you know life will just life on you and you're just like Okay, so or maybe something happens in advance and you have to add things.
Speaker 1:You know, you don't know, life is we plan and life, life. So I look at it every quarter and I kind of I have this thing that I took from a friend of mine and he I Don't know if it was equal, not service over at his house and he was like write down the things that you don't want anymore and throw him in the fire pit. I was like what? He was like write down the things you don't want anymore, you don't want to carry into the next season or whatever. Throw him in the fire pit. I was like, okay, I like your friends, yeah. He was like here is my sticky note or a tablet and here is a pen, write it down. And cause he could see that I was gonna be like I'm gonna excuse me and then not do it. So he gave me, he gave me the stuff and he gave people a notch and he was like you don't have to participate.
Speaker 1:There were a bunch of us. He did that and he's also a singing friend and we were there at his house and I did it and I was like I'm doing this. After I did it and I thought about it, I was like I'm doing this every quarter, so every well, it's for the year. I do the core values and then in the quarter I kind of reckon it's how I'm gonna go. Is anything changing or is there anything that I'm doing that I really just don't want to carry into this next season? And then if I don't want stuff, I write it down and burn it, and the things that I do want to focus on and it's not like 20, it's like a few I write them down on a little piece of paper and I put them in my wallet.
Speaker 1:So it's the ultimate like keep the stuff that's meaningful to you and throw away the stuff that's not yeah. So I stole that from my friend Corey. Thanks, corey.
Speaker 3:That's cool.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I don't know if he stole it from anybody else or not, but I'll give him credit for it, cause that's where I got it from.
Speaker 3:We're gonna give Corey credit. I think that's a good one he will like that.
Speaker 1:I'm just gonna tell him to listen to this podcast, cause I say his name Perfect.
Speaker 2:There you go, so you have your core values defined and continuously reflecting on those and the goals that you're working on for the year. What does overall fulfillment mean for Hadea, for life? I know we've talked about still looking at and defining what purpose means for you and all of that, but at least right now and I'm sure it changes right what does having fulfilling life mean to you?
Speaker 1:Well, for me, as far as I think I have, the understanding that I have right now is Totally changes. Yes, but the understanding that I have right now and life is an experience was it Carl Jung that said life is an experiment until you're 40, or research until you're 40, or something, yeah. And then I was like, yeah, but this is just. I know some people are 66 or still research.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Maybe it's a different age for different people, but I think right now it is adding value in whatever space that I'm in. So, and the reason why that it's kind of broad, because I feel I'm one of those people I'm like this isn't happening for no reason, right? So I don't, from a work standpoint, I don't get a role and have a person assigned to me for no reason. I believe that I hire this person or they're assigned to me a way of just me taking over a role, because there's something that maybe there's something I can offer or some way that I can add value.
Speaker 1:And I tried to be in the I used the corporate America situations because I tried to be what I didn't have. So if I had, if I happen to report to people that didn't really care about my development, if I had people that didn't advocate for me in rooms that I wasn't in, I'm like I'm gonna do that for that person, right, Because in some way it will be good and it will be valuable that we cross paths, right? I think that I haven't fleshed it out completely, but I think that my purpose is around that, like adding value in whatever situation. But that means I get terribly bored, when I don't feel like I'm adding value in a situation, Sure, and I'm just like, oh, I'm done here, then I don't need to be here If I'm not adding value.
Speaker 1:Why am I here? Okay, I can go, so that part is, I'm working on that part, because then I'm just like, oh, no more of this, and it's just. It's so matter of fact, I don't have a lot of tie to that, whatever that thing is, anymore, and I don't hoard things right Cause I'm like this doesn't add value for me, so throw it in the trash or give it to someone else and that can be a gift in the curse, cause I'm like, wait, did someone give me this Right?
Speaker 2:Are they gonna come over and be like where is this thing, when is?
Speaker 1:the pineapple mug that I gave you. I don't know. I think I gave it to the goodwill. I don't know, I don't know. I think I gave it to the goodwill. I don't know that wasn't for me, but yeah, so I think it's adding value in whatever space that I'm in, and sometimes I add value by maybe it's not adding value to others, but it's adding value to myself. Like, am I in a situation where there's someone that I can really learn from and be mental about? Am I in a situation where there is someone that just needs someone to listen to them and I can just be quiet? So for me, it's always an exercise in trying to figure out what the value is that I can add in a certain situation, cause I believe, like, why else am I on the planet then If I can't help with stuff?
Speaker 3:Yeah, who was the person for you Like? Who was the person that sat down and listened to you? Who was the person that added value to your life, like if you could.
Speaker 2:I know I went deep, I'm sorry, you did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, well, I mean, there was a time when, since we talked about us all working together, there was a time when I felt like no one really got me at our job. So it was you guys at one point, honestly, at one point it was at our last job I was just like I feel these things and I want to say them, or I want to know if other people feel them as well. And it was. It was you guys. There were other people, definitely, but you guys, though. Definitely you guys, so for sure. But it's weird cause it's random people. Tell me if you guys have the same thing.
Speaker 1:But I remember, I also have a weird specific memory, but I remember being a young like maybe like middle school or high school basketball player, and there was this woman. I don't know why she was there. She wasn't like our permanent coach, she wasn't there for like my whole I don't think she was there for like my whole middle school or early high school career in basketball, but she was just like, I think, right when I needed to understand how it was important to you know how sometimes you need to see a woman do a thing that you want to do. Yes, yeah, does that make sense. Yep. So it was important for me to see how do I say this. It was important for me to see a woman that was tall and not afraid to be the taller person in the room and not afraid to give people direction. And she was there. She was doing it.
Speaker 1:We went to her house and it was amazing, and I swear there were pictures on the wall of her with the important people. And I kept thinking who is this woman and why is she talking to me? I just don't touch your stuff, you know, but it was her for a minute and I don't think I ever talked to her after that. But, hmm, so just random people that have popped up or advocated for me, yeah, yeah, stuff like that, yeah it's.
Speaker 2:I mean for me at least, especially when you're young, right, yeah, your world is a bubble, you only know. I mean, everything is so intimate and like everything that happens is the end of the world because your bubble is the world. Yes, but then when you finally get a chance to see someone else that has, like, lived outside that bubble, it expands just a little bit more, and then just a little bit more. And that's I mean for me. You know, this way I'm hoping for my kids I can bring in a bunch of different adult role models and things like that that they can see and it's like, Okay, this isn't the only thing. There is so much more and so much bigger things to understand and see in this world. And I feel like those people along the way provide that and open up our, our entire universe to possibility and bigger things. For sure.
Speaker 1:All right, I Can't tell you how many people. This is a weird story. Okay, I can't. I also can't remember where this guy came from. I think there was a guy. Yeah, wait, we were little. When I was little, before I went to boarding school, I lived in a house that wasn't like a rich person's house and we had a guy come and spray for bugs. So we didn't so far as I remember, we didn't have bugs because we had the bug spray guy and he was a preventative measure. So he would come and spray for bugs. Yeah, so I think I can't remember if he was the first person to tell me this, but he's the one I remember. He used to tell me you be a nerd. Don't let anybody ever tell you not to be a nerd. You be a nerd.
Speaker 1:You hold on to that and I would just be like, okay, I'm gonna do it anyway, I'm reading this book, but I'm gonna finish this book. He used to be like you're being he. I guess he saw something and in me and perhaps I you know, I he was. He was a grown man and I was a child. So we never had these conversations. I don't even know if he's still alive at this point, but he used to tell me that and then by the time I got old enough to understand what I think he was trying to prepare me for, I just didn't care, like I just there was. No, there was no room for me not to be okay with being a nerd if that makes any sense because I had just so leaned into it at that point. So you know, at the time that you get old enough that people make fun of you, I was just like I Am a nerd.
Speaker 1:But I was at a boarding school. A lot of people were nerds. I also play basketball, I ran track, I was in the choir. You know I did all these things. I did passion play at Easter time and everybody kind of like, I Don't know, I guess maybe we, a lot of us, were nerds never felt odd. I never felt like it was something I couldn't be, but he used to tell me that all the time when I was little. So I think that added value for me.
Speaker 2:I love that. That needs to be a shirt. Be a nerd or something.
Speaker 1:But in the year of our Lord, 2023, it's okay. It's okay, it's like, oh, yeah, yeah it is. This is my toxic trait I'm low-key upset about it, because why do the comic-cons have to be so crowded that I have to go early before the crowd?
Speaker 3:Yeah because, yeah, it's a lot. There are a lot of people.
Speaker 1:Okay, first of all, I love a good family cosplay. I'm not gonna but love, so the best everybody was a different Spider-Man family at the last.
Speaker 3:Oh cool.
Speaker 1:Oh so good, so good man yeah um there's so many Spider-Man's now because of the spider verse.
Speaker 3:I love the spider verse and I cannot wait for this new one coming up. Oh my gosh, sorry.
Speaker 2:Miles is my favorite.
Speaker 1:Me too, just saying get excited about it. I don't know when this comes out, you've probably already seen it, but anyway, the, the Mainstreaming of being a nerd, that's not a word, but it's just kind of exciting, right, because it's like, yeah, maybe kids don't have to deal with some of the scrutiny that some of us had to deal with. You know, being the kid that liked the sci-fi and the comic books and the I don't know, the Legos, I don't know what, nothing's considered nerdy now.
Speaker 3:So no right, and that that's good, yeah, I love that, that, that that person gave you space to be who he saw that you are. Yeah, yeah, and it was almost like yeah, okay. I can be like it was. It was almost like a kid. I can be like it was. It was almost like a moment of empowerment, right, it's like yeah.
Speaker 1:I never in nerd? Yeah, I never. I don't remember after that. I don't remember ever being like oh no, I'm a nerd, I can't do things.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh, because he, when he said it, I was like, huh, yep, thanks, yeah, thank you, have a good day just reading the book. But yeah, that, so there have been I can't I probably can't name them all and there have been a ton of people that have just been helpful and advocated for me and, you know, had words of encouragement or, you know, taught me things or told me about things like different, like free training that was available or networking events or something like that, you know. So I think that I Can't help but think that there are people that have very similar paths, that you know Just a couple of those people don't happen and you don't end up in the same place. Absolutely Right, so, right, yeah, so I really, I really believe in that.
Speaker 1:I believe in, you know, talking to folks about that stuff and organizations like tech girls that like bring Folks together and teach them different skills. That's kind of like my jam. I like that stuff. I I volunteer for stuff like that because I think it adds value. They could potentially be little me's, you know. So I'm gonna go in there and tell them to be an earth.
Speaker 2:As one should. I love it. Yes, yes, yeah. Well, they get. Yeah, like you said, sometimes it takes that one person right and you can be that one person for that.
Speaker 3:For those younger yeah, kids, to open up their worlds, to being more nerdy Is there is there one key piece of advice you give the, the littles that you come into contact with, oh, oh, right now, mm-hmm.
Speaker 1:Oh, I like to tell people about free and it's not just the littles either because I was like, oh no, I just did it in a taxi. So I was in Vegas. I was in Vegas for an RPA robotic process automation convention. And I was in a taxi and I was Was talking to the person, not a sec. I was in an Uber or something, but I was talking to the person driving and they were talking about. They asked where I was going and I was like I'm going over to I don't know Bellagio, whatever hotel it is for this conference. And they were like, huh, what's the conference for? And I was like, oh, robotic process automation. And they said, what's that? And I said you asked for it. So this is, you know, people do. Yep, here we go.
Speaker 1:People do you know their processes and their transactions at work. Some of them are, you know, really redundant and a pain in the neck and they can be automated and then we can get those people back to things that only human beings can do. So mostly we sit down with those people, we get all the deeds, we build some type of bot that does that stuff for them and all they have to do is basically review the results or make sure that it's running the way they want and they can get to other stuff. And she was like cool, that's takes a lot of school, you have to spend a lot of money. And I was like no.
Speaker 1:So we started to talk about all of the different mooks and free stuff and ways that you can learn things without Spending money. And then, once you get to a point where you want to spend some money, like on a certification, it's only a few hundred dollars, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right, for example, one of the RPA certifications I can think of is like depending on your role, it's like I don't know, anywhere from two to four hundred dollars, maybe one or three hundred dollars, something like that. Yeah, and a lot of stuff like that like, hey, I want to be a BA, we can help you with that. You know stuff like that. So, um, I end up giving people little, and Mothers wanting to re-entered the work floors and people that are driving ubers but are trying to figure out what their you know switch career is going to be. I end up giving them, like cyber security, this website, like I'm very specific, go here For this one, right?
Speaker 1:Oh, go here, look at this, go here, look for this course, because even if they don't take the information, nobody's going to say I didn't tell you know, so, right, I just I'm very specific about things that, um, people can do that don't necessarily Want to, or have the resources to go to a four-year college, because, like you don't have to. There, people working at google, yeah, go, right, right. So those are the, those are the conversations I try to have with people, because I'm like, just in case no one ever told you this before, yeah, this you can do this you, you gotta go and focus on it.
Speaker 1:You might want to talk to some other people and make sure you guys you know test each other on the material, but you can do this, yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2:And then you can go to the library and there are free resources to use that kind of stuff so.
Speaker 1:I didn't know the library had audiobooks guys. Yeah, oh yeah. Oh yeah, so it was like. It was like Because I buy all my audiobooks. It was like oh maybe I'm surprised to say, like two or three years ago, that I found out that the library had yes yeah, there's an app, too, that you can.
Speaker 3:Be, bro, I think it is yeah. Yeah, yeah there are more than just, more than well.
Speaker 2:There's labor.
Speaker 3:There's liby, there's, there's a bunch of them, yeah, so if you're on.
Speaker 1:If you're, I won't. If you're on tick tock, they have book, tick, book. Yeah, book talk, book talk. So, um, the book talk people are so helpful. I'm like guys, is there an author that does after For futurism? That's not YA. And they're like, yes, these six people I think fantastic. Yeah, yeah, I haven't read any of that. I'd like to read some Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Um, so, yeah, book talk is very helpful and, um, if it gets banned, we're gonna need a replacement for that. So true, that's true.
Speaker 2:Um, so obviously you give advice to others and they can go down different paths. Um, you know and you've talked about, obviously, your values and things like that, and you've learned like a million things, especially in the pandemic. But, um, what are you, what are you kind of focusing on on next? Uh, you know what, what are you looking to find passion or purpose in Over the next coming year? And you know what, what are you being intentional about pursuing Uh coming up this year, the next couple years? I cannot wait okay.
Speaker 1:So, um, I um lived very dangerously in in uh 2022 and I switched Jobs and bought a house and, yeah, moved to another state. Um, so I just, you know, kept it light a couple things.
Speaker 2:This is a little small things little small changes.
Speaker 1:They were like don't do any big change when you oh sorry, I um. So what I am, what I'm focused on now, is um, besides um, getting to a point where I can retire from corporate America and have passive income. So I'm gonna figure that out, I'm figured out. Um, that should be everybody's goal. That's not trade time for money, but um, besides that, I want to take classes and I want to build stuff.
Speaker 1:So, so one thing I did not do that I felt compelled to do during the pandemic because I was in an apartment was build stuff in my house, like remodel stuff and build stuff. Because I kept seeing all these wonderful women All over the planet like building stuff, yeah, and I mean like table saw, ripping through stuff, cleaner, like I have got a workshop in my garage and then a slab of coated paint on this thing, building stuff. So I was like I didn't do that. I didn't do that. Hey, can I, can, I can do that. I'm not going to cut my finger off. I can do it. So, um, it's possible, but please be careful, please. I am going to take many classes and learn Just off all of the woodshop skills, but, um, that's, that's a thing for me. I found a couple places locally where you can go and take classes to build stuff.
Speaker 1:And of course I'm gonna mark oh, I've already started, but I'm gonna start with small, all reasonable projects and kind of ramp up as my skills grow. So it'll be I'm not afraid of a long-term goal. So it'll probably be years, yep, um, yeah, but the best thing about buying this house is it's mine, and if I want to take off the baseboards in one room and see if I can do it, I can, and if it doesn't work out, I'll call somebody like I don't. Yeah, right, yep, yep. So that's gonna be beyond, like continuing to be involved in, like you know, volunteering with stuff and speaking for stuff, panels and stuff, and work, work until I figure out the passive income thing. I, I definitely want to. Um, I want to build stuff, man, it's gonna be love, that it's awesome, right. And grow stuff, right, don't you want to grow stuff?
Speaker 3:No, that, no, she's. Yeah, eileen is Our resident plant lady.
Speaker 1:She's got plants everywhere real big problems.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I, I want to grow stuff I can eat, so. So I just found a video. I'm gonna send you the video I just found for this, because I have like 10 different things now I have to try and I'm gonna send it to you so you could try them too. And I first tampons actually are one of the things that you can use To get seeds from stuff and then grow them and like put water and stuff.
Speaker 1:Oh, because of the, yeah, yeah, yes, also toilet paper rolls, mm-hmm, yep. Yeah so anyway, we'll talk more we will, but yeah, I want to. I want to um all my list of things that I want to Do like I want to continue to put myself in positions where I can um evil parts, learn from people and then Provide information for those that want to like I can't tell you how many moms that I have met that are like either re-entering the workforce or done with what they've been doing, and I'm like.
Speaker 1:You, you can learn. I mean, what do you? You can learn this stuff over here, go in and so, uh, I'm, I'm really excited about, um, people making those changes and taking those leaks right. There's a book by a guy named oh, I'm gonna get this wrong, I think gay Hendricks, guy Hendricks, gay Hendricks, um, and it's called the ticket word for it, okay, um, and he talks about just, you know, going after it. Basically, what is it that you want to do? Go after it. And uh, it's just like. After I read that book, I was like, yeah, this is what the people that this is what they're doing, the people that are like I'm gonna change careers or I'm getting back into the Workforce, I don't know how, and I'm just like, well, uh, you know, a person, reasonable intelligence, can do these things and you don't have to go to school for years to do them. So, because they're like moms or like people with two jobs or something they don't, you know, they don't have time to go to.
Speaker 1:Uh for your college, but not that a four year college is bad. I went to a four year college, it's just not for everybody. Yeah, exactly, I'm sorry, but yeah, I'm looking forward to doing that still, but I got to build stuff too. Don't be surprised if you get a picture and you're like, hey, please.
Speaker 3:Yeah I can't wait. Say I cannot wait.
Speaker 1:I love it so and I did put up some, some fixtures, some light fixtures. Apparently, most people don't start there.
Speaker 2:No, it's fine, though, that's fine.
Speaker 1:But I was just like I can reach it and I know how to turn the electricity off.
Speaker 3:I mean right.
Speaker 1:So I just you know I've done six of them. That's good for you, yeah.
Speaker 3:I do love it when you get something done, though, and you've tried something new, and people are like, why did you start there? And you're like I don't know, I just wanted to try it, right. Yeah, it's just.
Speaker 1:I was there, I had to know not to.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I realized that was not a thing, right, exactly.
Speaker 1:Well, I will show you how to treat my train of thought works, because I think we both do this. I was like how much are light fixtures? How much do they want to put it up? I can do that. So then I was like Amazon, send me the lecture. Youtube, show me how to put the light fixture up. Got it, I can do that. Turn to shoot. Youtube Show me how to turn the electricity off. Again, just make sure I got it. And then you know. You know an hour later, or whatever.
Speaker 2:New fixture. It's done. Yeah, I did a manual reset of all the sensors in my washing machine the other weekend. I was like YouTube. How do I do this? Yeah, there's like certain clicks of things and I did it and I was very proud of myself.
Speaker 1:Yes, I told everybody about that light fixture as soon as they came in the house for a week. Right, I was like look at my light fixture. Thank you, yes.
Speaker 3:This is awesome. Yes, yes, come take a look at this, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes, there are probably some people out there like okay, I was here yesterday, you showed me I like it, it's awesome, yeah. But there are free classes and a bunch of like, I guess, home supply stores that I found out about like people, and loads, and you know other ones that I can't remember the names of. But and then there are also like little workshops that you can take part of for a reasonable fee, where they'll teach you how to do stuff like you know, those lovely accent rolls that people have and stuff like that. Yeah, I was like I can do that, so I'll be doing this for a while.
Speaker 1:Can't wait to see the pictures.
Speaker 3:Seriously Love it, because you've showed us a couple things where we're really I'm painting it and I was just like I can paint it. You did the. You did the chairs.
Speaker 1:You've done a couple things.
Speaker 3:I know I love the chairs. I love the chairs. They're still chairs. They're still chairs and you can sit in them.
Speaker 1:It's exciting, yes, oh my goodness, I forgot about that I love the chairs. Thank you, appreciate it. I forgot that. I shared that with you guys.
Speaker 3:Yeah just bring the people back. Hold on. I know you still play fixtures. Just come see the chairs, see what you've been sitting on. That was me too. Yeah, yeah, it's going to be amazing. Yeah, I can't wait to see it. Hadea, thank you so much for your time. It's always a pleasure and continue to grow, continue to build lists, continue to shed your lists, burn them, burn them, and I can't wait to see what else you do and let us know when your next coloring book is out, because that's also awesome. What's your current, what's your current coloring book name? Can people get? Still get it? Yeah, yeah, I feel like yeah.
Speaker 1:I didn't realize it was going to be doing this. It's called they are growth mindset all day coloring books. So growth mindset. Oh, okay, and they are. They're a five of them now. Hey, all right, awesome, good for you. Okay, kind of went on a tear, so that's happening, love.
Speaker 3:Yeah, all right, wonderful, wonderful, all right. So, on behalf of Eileen Grimes and myself, thanks for joining us, for you Only Go Once, otherwise known as you Go, and we'll see you next time, take care.
