You Only Go Once (Y.O.G.O.)
Cheryl and Eileen explore different topics around the limited time we have on this earth to create a fully layered life. Because...You Only Go Once!
You Only Go Once (Y.O.G.O.)
Navigating Transformations: Katie Bean on Tattoos, Mantras, and Memoirs
Do you remember the quiet thrill of delving into the pages of a long-awaited book as a child? For Katie Bean, that excitement was coupled with a dream of one day writing her own book. Join us as we journey with Katie, author of the healing memoir, Fragile Thoughts, tracing her transformation from a book-loving child to a published author. Listen to her profound revelations about revisiting old journal entries, turning them into a memoir, and the power of storytelling. Her intriguing experience with her learning circle book club, and the robust role it played in her book promotion, makes for a compelling tale.
Taking care of our inner voice often doesn't get the attention it deserves. Let Katie provide some insights, sharing about her personal practice of naming her inner voice and how it's bolstered her mental well-being. As she recounts the role of yoga and meditation in maintaining her peace of mind, you’ll discover a new perspective on staying present. We also get a unique lens into the world of tattoos and personal mantras. From her first impulsive tattoo to the meaningful ink that adorns her body now, Katie reveals how each design is a milestone in her transformation journey.
Art has always been a potent tool for expressing emotions, and Katie truly embodies this. Her mother was a musician, and the power of art has permeated her life. Learn how books, specifically memoirs like hers, can be a gift that ignites empathy and hope in the reader. As we bid farewell, we delve into the calming world of meditation, its benefits, and the balance it brings. Join us in this heartening conversation with Katie Bean and let her words inspire you to embark on your own journey of healing and personal growth.
Hi y'all. It's Katie being here. I hope when you look back on life, you have no regrets, because everything that you've done good, bad or indifferent has led you to who you are today and because you only go once.
Speaker 2:Welcome, welcome listeners. Welcome back to another episode of you Only Go Once, also affectionately known as Yogo. I am here tonight, at my lean grimes, with my fantastic co-host and friend that I haven't seen and talked to for a little while because that's that we're not working together anymore, but we get to spend these amazing nights together and meet these incredible people. So, cheryl, I will let you introduce our guest for tonight.
Speaker 3:Thanks, Eileen. Katie Bean is the author of Fragile Thoughts, a healing memoir which is written as both a personal narrative and practical guide on healing. She's an educator and spends her nine to five talking with college students about how to live healthy and happy lives, and spends the rest of her time trying to listen to her own advice. She loves being outdoors, is a yoga student and teacher and an avid writer and reader. She also runs learning circles, which are book clubs with a self-study twist. She lives with her husband, John, and dog Charlie in Phoenixville, Katie Bean welcome, hi.
Speaker 1:thank you so so much for having me. I'm very excited to be here.
Speaker 3:Katie, we wanted to talk to you a little bit about you, what your life goals are, how you're living this life right now. But first I think we want to start with your talking a little bit about your book and mostly what made you write your book and your memoir now versus another time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a great question. It really has been a childhood dream to publish a book. So ever since I was a little kid, I was making my own little books and writing stories, and my mom would like staple them together in my little pages that I would write and draw. So I've always loved writing since I was a kid, and so it's just always just been in the back of my mind as like a bucket list dream goal of publishing something I used to think a book of poetry, maybe. I used to think maybe I would write short stories and publish them, but it actually turned into being my memoir that I ended up publishing and why I chose that was really.
Speaker 1:My own healing journey over the past many years has been powerful, life changing, and each time I share what I've learned or what I've, how I've grown through therapy, through journaling, through vulnerable storytelling and community, through yoga all of those things together Every time I share the techniques I've used and how it's helped me learn and grow, people seem to be impacted by that, you know, and I've gotten a lot of good response like, wow, that's really a powerful story, or you should tell more people that you should keep sharing that.
Speaker 1:And so I was really motivated when I started the learning circle that you mentioned in my intro. I started that during COVID, that book club, and during that book club it was just. I mean, it was amazing it was. It was like group therapy really, more group therapy, less book club. But we definitely talked about, you know, we would read the stories, a lot of memoirs and a lot of spiritual type self help books and in those learning circles we would use the author's story as kind of a jumping off point for us to talk about our own lives and how we in our own lives have similar or different experiences and that kind of process.
Speaker 1:I was like this is exactly what I think I need to do. It just kind of hit me, so I wrote my story and then at the end of every chapter I have journal prompts and yoga based activities to kind of help the reader take my story and then, you know, see how it connects to their own life. And so it's truly built for book clubs. This book and meant for people to read in community and in conversation with one another.
Speaker 2:I mean, that's beautiful. I'm definitely going to have to get it now. And have you approached book clubs with this To? I mean, like I know, there's online spaces and things to promote the book and everything. So sorry, I just get my marketing business head coming on, so I appreciate that we should totally chat offline on more ideas.
Speaker 1:I haven't done that. I am going to because I still I do this monthly learning circle. It's through my yoga studio. We do a survey every summer for what are going to be the books for the next like year, the academic year, and of course my lovely people have chosen have chosen my book to be the first one in September. So I will be doing it for them. But yeah, maybe there's other ways to try to get utilize it in that kind of space. It's definitely made for that. It's made to be read and discussed in community for sure, definitely.
Speaker 2:Well, I know a book club that Cheryl's a part of and maybe could suggest it.
Speaker 2:So yes so as you're going through writing this book. Obviously I mean with what Cheryl has written, with her own, and with what you've done, I think with many authors. Right, there's a significant amount of self reflection and introspection that goes into especially writing memoir, right? Was there something that just sort of surprised you or that you found most difficult to really approach in terms of getting it from here, from your brain and your heart out onto to paper? And and how did you get through the other side of that?
Speaker 1:Hmm, Great question. Yeah, what's interesting about this book is because I've been writing and journaling my whole life. A lot of the book was my journal entries that.
Speaker 1:I've rewritten into, you know, to create this book. So it was very interesting process to like go into my basement and open up these you know Tupperware bins and pull out some journals from grade school and high school. I mean it was. It was wild actually. The whole process was powerful.
Speaker 1:I remember there were times I would go down the basement to go through stuff and then five hours later I'm like, wow, I really have to go upstairs now, like I would just get so wrapped into it. It brought back a lot of emotions, of course. It brought back a lot of memories and it led me to more journaling and more discovery. And it was really interesting because through journaling, through writing, I have found connections that I didn't realize existed. So like, as I was looking back on the past and then I was writing about maybe the last five years or so of my life, I would say, wow, that thing in my past actually maybe relates to how I respond to things now. It was, it was so therapeutic. So it was really interesting process for me and then to turn it over to you know, with my publisher, to turn it over to a developmental editor to have someone judge it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was hard you know, but that you know you need that to help formulate it into a readable story, and so it was really helpful to have you know all of the people involved in on the editing team, and there were some chapters I left out to be very honest.
Speaker 1:There were chapters that it was like the whole world doesn't need to know every detail. So, but it was hard because there's there's some heavy stuff in there. It's basically a book of all the trauma and heavy stuff I've been through and what I've learned from it and how I've grown from it and so, yeah, it's definitely scary to put that out in the world, not just to strangers, not so much to my mother. A little more scary, you know, a little more scary to the people who who were involved in the stories that are in the book and and to my, my boss, to my, you know, my colleagues. Like, oh, you're going to read about a lot of things. So that's been a little scary, but I've only received positive feedback so far. So that's been been nice. That's fantastic. When did it come out? It came out in May, mid-may.
Speaker 2:Okay, got it. That's amazing. Yeah, it's. Oh, she had the vulnerability piece of becoming a published author in whatever way, shape or form that exists, whether it's in a book, whether it's, you know, blogging out to the world or you know some article that you wrote for a newspaper, whatever it is. The vulnerability that you have to have to allow for that to enter the world is incredible. And I mean, have you, was that something you found sort of through this process, like?
Speaker 3:for me.
Speaker 2:I wasn't ready. It's at a point in my life to be able to put something like that out into the world. It was through a lot of the work that I've been doing and I'm still doing. Like let's be real, right, of course, me too, would you say. If you had released it five years ago, would it have been something that you would have been able to do?
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely not.
Speaker 1:I think it was birthed when it was ready. Yeah, right, you know, I think it was all just very serendipitous, everything that happened, that led to it. There was a lot of synchronicities that were just falling into place. I think it was meant to happen when it was meant to happen. It's also part of my faith. I believe that boldheartedly. So I think that was a part of it. It just kind of rolled into, it just happened, I mean.
Speaker 1:And the vulnerability piece of it you know I was nervous, of course, about the stories themselves, about the actual experience. I was also nervous that maybe people would think I'm not, it's not well written, like it's not a good piece of work. That was another fear. So it's like two types of vulnerabilities there. You know, is it any good on top of wow? These are heavy stories and there's many levels of fear. Right, there's all kinds of failure that you're afraid of as you dig down into that. But the vulnerability itself is what has helped me heal from so many of the things I've been through. Yeah, when you can share something with someone and they can, whether they can relate or whether they can empathize, you know that's powerful. And when you can unveil yourself to others, that's really huge. So the vulnerability itself had been happening for a while in my own journey and this was just a natural extension of that.
Speaker 3:Well, I can attest to how well written it is because it is a phenomenal book and I will say I'm also grateful that the yoga exercise that you put in there are some things that you could potentially do from your chair or standing up, and I used to call yoga classes falls down a lot, because that's exactly what I did.
Speaker 3:I have no skill set in the grace department at all, so I found these very, very soothing at the end because some of the chapters that you have are very heady. So you've talked a little bit about vulnerability and I will say one of my favorite chapters is the one where you talk about imposter syndrome and that vulnerability and naming your inner voice, and her voice is Tiffany and that just made me feel right, because you never think to name your. You know, often people will tell you name your fear and that's like half. You know that's part of the battle of naming your fear and then you know facing it head on and I had never thought to name, like the inner voice, the one of self doubt and the hesitation and all of that. Give it a name. That was one of my favorite chapters because you're generally also talked about like how do you deal with imposter syndrome. Have you given, like, try to give your inner voice a name? And what would you tell that inner voice?
Speaker 2:So I guess, Cheryl, this is real quick then. Did you then take that advice? Yeah, I did, I totally did yeah.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it is because I had like three names rolling around in my head.
Speaker 2:No, I love that. I'm sorry, I'm just so curious. Yeah.
Speaker 3:So I love it. Yeah, I. What did I name her? I named her Lottie. I think that was the name that I gave her. Even though it's a very sweet name, I think that there was, like you know, Lottie could be tough as nails, so you know I gave her that name, like you're a Lottie in my head right now. So no offense to any of the charlots or the Lotties out there, it's just that's the name that I came up with and I thought, all right, you know you're a Lottie right now, Calm down, Like let me get this done. Eileen, what would you name your inner voice?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. I mean, I haven't had time to think about this. You just popped it on me, I did I popped that one on you. Yes, I mean, I'll be honest, I had an immediate reaction to it and it was Bertha and I don't really totally. It seems very overbearing and like want you to be on the right track and like stick and stay in the like safe zone of stuff. So yeah, I'm just gonna have to go with it. That was my first reaction, probably the most right one.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love it. Bertha was the name of my first car. Love it? Yeah, she was. She was old and not very reliable.
Speaker 2:Great.
Speaker 3:It's awesome.
Speaker 2:I can't rely on mine. So you know that's total. Thanks, Makes sense, yeah.
Speaker 1:And no offense to anyone named Tiffany right. That has nothing to do with it. That technique was you know from my therapist from years ago and it really proved helpful. There's a great book called Chatter by Ethan Cross, and Chatter talks a lot about the mind stuff, right Just like the inner voice and the inner critic and he talks about.
Speaker 1:there's a lot of research around it too that that proves that naming yourself, naming your inner voice, gives like space between it. It gives objectivity to the voice and the voice starts saying mean things to you. You can, you know, I kind of laugh. I'll say in my mind like shut up Tiffany, and then that's like ridiculous. So then I laugh and then I can kind of like get out of that cycle of anxiety or fear or whatever is you know going on in my mind. But yeah, that's definitely a technique from my therapist. Can't take credit for that one.
Speaker 2:No, I love it, so it is. So you are also. You also teach yoga. Is this your yoga instructor? So I'm curious, because I remember I also took yoga and we'll just leave it at that. But I did it for a little while and I know one of the things that I struggled with, especially then, because I did it in my early 20s and it was that inner voice right and when you're in Shavasana and it's like I should do this and this and this and these things are popping in your head and it's just like this doesn't stop and your inner voice keeps going. And have you ever brought that concept then into the practice, to have those conversations with whoever you're working with?
Speaker 1:Yeah. So I mean definitely that's a part. I mean, the part of yoga I love most is in yoga sutras from Patanjali, like the book written, you know, thousands of years ago. The very first line, the very first sutra or maybe it's 1.2, says yoga. The purpose of yoga is to steal the fluctuations of the mind. That's what it's about. That is literally the purpose of yoga. So, yes, I do bring that in and in a lot of my conversations. I certainly use that myself when I'm taking classes. That's what it's for. That's the whole purpose. It's definitely not so that we can make pretzels with our bodies. It's definitely not so that we can be flexible and sure, we build flexibility, we build strength, absolutely, and they're all a byproduct of getting. They're the means to the end, the end being stealing the mind and being able to meditate and connect with spirit. Really.
Speaker 2:And I'm actually more open to trying and implementing some of the yoga because I've done a lot more meditation practices and breathing work now, because I'm ready to quiet right, like in my early 20s it was like, oh, I got to go, go go, I have to achieve, I have to do all these things, like I'm not, I'm not standing still, yeah. So I'm actually much more into and able to approach in those things now a little bit later in life, because it doesn't feel so, it's not stagnant in the way that I thought it was, it's actually Still in the way that it is being completely present and I'm much more understanding of what that means now.
Speaker 1:Exactly. You should come in and practice with us. Nectar yoga studio in Phoenixville.
Speaker 2:I would. I'm in Washington State, however, so it might be a little hard you can come anyway, that's fine, yes.
Speaker 3:Yep, well, I may be visiting you, katie, because I think I would like to hear your version of yoga versus Some of the other things that I've seen. I tried like a 30-day Yoga and they just got progressively harder and I was like I'll try, and then by the end I was like I'll just be in child's pose for the rest of the session. Thank you, yeah. So, going back to your book, your life, everything it was, honestly, you are such a calm soul, as I see you reading some of the book, though I was really kind of surprised at some of the the stuff, of some of the stories that were in there, including some impulsive things that you did. So if you had to list, or you had to name, the one impulsive thing that you've done, what was it and what did you learn from it?
Speaker 1:I was going to talk about my impulsivity of like getting my first tattoo.
Speaker 3:That is actually the one that I was focusing on in my head. So, yes, that was the one that I was thinking of because Eileen's got tattoos. I am Tattoo free. Maybe we'll get there eventually with one, maybe a tiny dot or something. But yeah, that was actually the story that I was thinking, because that one made me Just absolutely crack up. So would you mind sharing that story, because that one is, like my, one of my favorites from the book and and how do you talk about all that stuff?
Speaker 1:So yeah. So one of the, yeah, most impulsive things was definitely getting a tattoo right when I turned 18, and Not thinking it through at all, just thinking it would be fun, thinking it would be funny, and I decided to get my initials KB in green and black leopard print on my ash cheek. And I had to get it there because I couldn't let my parents see it, of course, yep, and they were like you better not ever get a tattoo. That like. I knew that that was their values. They taught me that and I couldn't let them see it.
Speaker 1:So it's still not visible like in a bikini, right like it's. It's right on the cheek, and it was a pretty stupid choice. It was definitely not. It was not well thought out. I thought it would be funny and you know, the truth is I have a lot of tattoos. Now I have five, I'm about to get my six and I love tattoos. I think they're great, but Every tattoo since has been very thought out.
Speaker 1:I've I've thought for a long time, maybe even a full year, about what I want in the placement and then, after a year, if I still want it, I think for about another year and then, if I still want it. Maybe I'll start Setting up, finding the person I want to do it and designing it, which might take another year. So all my other tattoos have taken years and that one took about 25 minutes for us all to say, yeah, that's a great idea, let's go. There's a place, y'all just like. I had seven friends with me and of course, I'm sitting over the seat with my pants down because they had to get to it and everyone's taken pictures of my bare ass. It was just hilarious. So it was. It was funny at the time, mm-hmm, and I can still laugh at it now, but definitely impulsive.
Speaker 3:Can you talk about the one that's on the back of your neck, because that one has meaning right?
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah all the rest have a lot of meaning. The one on the back of my neck is the ohm symbol in Sanskrit, the ohm from, from yoga and from. You know the symbol in Sanskrit, and it has a lot of like traditional meaning. I really like it being on the back of my neck because I can't see it, which to me symbolizes how I Understand God. Right, like always there, but I can't, can't really see it. And Ohm represents. I mean, if you, if you ask different Yogis and even different scholars what ohm means, you're gonna get a few different variations. But ohm is the sound of peace. Ohm is the sound, the vibration in which God manifested all things.
Speaker 1:Ohm has a lot of like deeper meaning within the structure of the symbol itself. There's three parts of the bottom which are, let's say, there's a bunch of them waking, dreamless sleep and and sleep. And then there's, like this I'm making hand gestures and no one can see me. You know, you know on the radio, but there's like a, an arch, the very consciousness that kind of separates those states. And then the doubt at the top is representing God. So there's a lot of. I mean, there's whole books on and what it means. But that's a really brief Version of how I understand it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I was reading somewhere recently oh gosh, in my, my day job, we're talking about mantras and different Long-long lines and so how they work scientifically. What is it about them that actually work? And so obviously, ohm is one of the Really big ones, and they were talking about the three different letters or the sounds. Right, they come with that, and those are the only Three that you can make without your tongue, like they're the three that are the essential Sounds that a human can make, and so I just found that Fascinating, also just kind of digging in and learning a little bit more. But that's the universal thing that all humans, no matter what, can make, and I just that was fascinating. On the second related piece of that, how much did it hurt? Because I've been thinking about getting one on my spine?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's pretty small on the back of my neck and it definitely it hurt, but wasn't as bad as the one on my ribs or the one on my foot the one on the foot hurt by the worst okay, so I have a hit slash rib one, so, okay, great, it's about it's about the same as that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, good, good, great. My next one. I'm gonna get another one. I'm gonna get a phoenix on my thigh. I'm really excited for that. It's gonna be the only one that's Really bright and colorful red orange, you know, yellow. I'm gonna have some teal in there and it's really actually in honor of my book and my healing journey and Rising from the ashes of my former former self. So I'm very excited for that next one. I I love it.
Speaker 2:When did that happen?
Speaker 1:You will get new to get one, cheryl, who knows yeah, it won't, it's not going to happen.
Speaker 2:Trust me, it's not going to happen.
Speaker 3:Yeah, mine will be teensy-tiny, like I said, if it ever happened. So, but I love that and it was funny because I I because Eileen resonates very much with the Phoenix, so I always thought that the two of you would get along really well. So I'm glad like three of us kind of got together for this. I want to go back to Tiffany for a little bit and then we'll. We'll move on to other things, but one of the things that I'm always fascinated by is the should or what it could have. You know and it's not so much a regret, but it's if you could travel back in time and talk to your younger self, like, what advice would you give to her and what would you be sassing Tiffany about at that time?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would probably. If I could tell my younger self some advice, I would say get into therapy sooner so that you could identify Tiffany as not yourself, as knowing that that is not you.
Speaker 1:I used to really identify with that voice in the head, and now I see the difference. You know, I I understand that that voice is not my true self. I would definitely say start therapy now, start yoga right now. I would definitely say stop stop drinking and doing drugs sooner. Right, I live a sober lifestyle now, and that's been many years, but I could have certainly done that sooner.
Speaker 1:Yes, it's kind of funny. It's like all. The place where I am now, though, is like a beautiful place, and I don't think I'd be where I am now if I took away all those pieces of my past. You know, it's almost like I had to have Tiffany be loud in my head for so long, and I had to deal with all the circumstances that surrounded drugs and alcohol in my life, and all of that stuff got me to this place. You know where I where I needed healing, but then that created the healing process which got me here, and I love where I am now, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. So, yeah, I guess. I guess the only advice would be be more present. It's interesting.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's interesting. I just today heard this, so it resonates from what you're talking about. Someone said Simon Bowen well, some fantastic work. But one of the things Keith has said is that life in your past can either be wins, losses or lessons. The difference between lessons and losses is how you view them, and so I just like yep, yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm so on board with that. Everything is a lesson, and that's, and that's really what the whole book is about. Every lesson that I took from every circumstance yeah, absolutely what was the name of that I'm going to write Simon Bowen. Yeah, you're right, cheryl, me and Eileen definitely have a lot of things in common.
Speaker 3:You sure do, you sure do. Yeah, I am yeah again. When I read your book I was like my goodness, I felt like, you know, you and Eileen could connect on a few things. Especially, eileen is my friend who is the question asker, so I loved that and she's, you know, I don't mean to talk about you and third person, I lead like I'm not here, yeah, like just yeah, lottie enough, but yeah it's.
Speaker 3:You know, I love the questions in the book. You wrote in such a way that it was almost like there were cliffhangers to get you to the next section and I was like I, you know, the hooks on the the book were phenomenal. I mean, there was a moment where I was like, and then what happened? I'm like you have to focus that this is a person's real life story and this is not fiction. This is not a cliffhanger, but this is somebody's real life story and these real things happen to you and you had a lot of life thrown at you at a young age, for sure. Right, what would you consider your happy place? Now, you know, is there a place that you'd like to travel to? Is you have a place that you would like to travel to? Is you have a favorite destination place that you can that you find your inner child, your inner happy?
Speaker 3:Like what does that, what does that kind of look like?
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a great question. I love that question and there's a few places that jump to my mind immediately. When you first started asking the question, my mind went to my yoga mat wherever that is, and you know, just being in that place of of connection with myself and presence.
Speaker 1:You know again, wherever that is, but on my yoga mat.
Speaker 1:But then you know, when you said, like you know, happy place it, it made me think of this meditation that I did once that I actually put in the book, where it's like an insight meditation where you visualize going up into the clouds and then coming back down and you get to decide where to land and in the meditation.
Speaker 1:The first time I was taught that meditation, where I decided to land that first time was actually on Bridge Street in Phoenixville with my husband and my dog, and I remember we were in a group setting and everyone went around and shared where they landed in their meditation and people were like underwater in Atlantis, people were on the beach in this beautiful place and and I was like I was in my hometown down Main Street, which is hilarious because I really do just. I love this town, I love my life, I love my husband, I love my dog, like I just love where I'm at. So this is definitely my happy place. Is is where I am right now, which is, I realized, saying it sounds kind of corny, but I'm just so grateful.
Speaker 2:That's amazing. Yeah, so I have a little. So, as Cheryl said, I come up with a lot of different questions and stuff and I can't help it. And as you were talking, this came up. So I'm curious one. First and foremost love, love, love the way that you've structured the book and I think it's fantastic. Devil's advocate, because this is so. My father was also a computer person, math guy and made us constant. Both my parents are teachers, so they were constantly like well, how do you think about it from this side, and how do you think about it from this side? So Is there any part of you that might have wanted to control the narrative with the questions that you asked at the end of the different chapters?
Speaker 2:to keep it in a way that would allow them to take what you took from going through some of the reflections that you did.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, I bet I did. I bet I totally did, because each chapter right, whatever story I told, I took a lesson from, and then there's prompts were based on the chapter right. So you know, for example, the first chapter is all about I had a speech impediment as a kid, which is why I didn't talk, which is why I wrote everything down. And so the questions are like what were your like, how did you communicate as a kid, you know? So it definitely ties to the timeline of life. There's a lot of when you were this age that I'm in, when you were in high school, when you were in, you know, there was different questions around when you were at that age. How did you handle that situation? So they definitely were prompted based on my story. For sure, there was definitely trying to impart the lesson that I took, right?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, no, there was definitely guided. I would think, Wouldn't you say, Cheryl, that all the questions were guided towards?
Speaker 3:that. Oh sure, like you definitely. You know, I viewed each one of your sections of your book as almost like a parable with a cliffhanger, and then, when you got to the meditation, it was very geared toward, you know, certain movements that would move towards certain themes like gratitude and breathing, and, you know, calming your mind and all of those things, but also those questions make you reflect on the story that you had shared and also like not putting yourself in the same position that you were in, because there are some things that I couldn't imagine putting myself in, but there are other things in terms of, like, I always go back to Tiffany, right, it's because I have. You know, there are times where I feel like the imposter syndrome is absolutely crippling for me, and I can't tell you how many people have told me, like, get out of your own head and just go do it, and I feel like a lot of times Lottie kind of like yanks me back and is like maybe don't do that, like I don't think this is time, like think about what you're doing.
Speaker 3:And you know my stuff is like you know, you explain other things to people and people like go, go get it. And I'm like why doesn't Lottie talk to me that way? And I'm sure Tiffany does the same thing. Like you're thinking like Tiffany, what's up? Like why are you not talking to me that way? Yeah, I think for me it's just seeing your progression Because, again, like I said, you had a lot of life happen to you and I don't want to give too much away in this podcast.
Speaker 3:I want people to read this book because I think it's an important. I think it's a really important journey towards understanding not only your healing journey, but also having people feel less alone in their own journeys. And you know, you found ways.
Speaker 3:You know, therapy, your youth yoga, sharing your story with others, helping other children and young adults kind of understand, like from your perspective, how they can heal. I thought all of that was really wonderful in the book. So, yeah, that was a long-awaited version of saying yes, that's exactly what I saw in the book. Just thinking about all of these things Again, a lot of life happened to you and you also said you took certain things out of the book where you're like people don't need to know that Was there. Do you have in there a chapter that you're most proud of?
Speaker 1:That's a lovely question. I don't know, I haven't thought about them. The whole thing's my baby. I haven't thought about breaking into pieces. That's so interesting. Yeah, maybe just the last chapter, perhaps because that's where I am right now in my life. It's really funny. Ending it was hard because it's like, and here I am today, how do you end the book when it's a memoir and you're still living your life and I just turned 40? Yeah, it was just very that was actually the toughest part. But yeah, so maybe the last chapter, because it definitely kind of showcased how living a life of healing can look Like. I'm in a very good place. I feel I struggle every single day and I know how to handle it. That's the beauty. Every single day there's new difficult things that happen, but I feel I'm able and capable of handling it in a way that I definitely was not able to handle in the past.
Speaker 2:And what a great. I mean I don't know.
Speaker 2:So often in especially Western cultures, with the Hollywood ending and different stuff, people are either good or bad.
Speaker 2:That's how we hear it.
Speaker 2:We hear it in the news, where this person is a horrid, tragic story of whatever and there's no redemption but there's no ability to truly be human in that and it sounds like just the dichotomy of past to present right, just the growth and the change that can happen over the course of a lifetime, and you still have more to go right, and I think we don't talk about that enough, that it's not like this isn't just the one story.
Speaker 2:This is an entire lifetime that ebbs and flows and moves and we constantly get a chance to define who we are today. It's not always the stuff from our past that needs to define what it is and who we are right now. So I just I think it's really interesting and fascinating and wonderful to kind of share an example of how that can grow through someone's lifetime and hopefully help a lot of people If they're younger and maybe you're on a path that hasn't necessarily been the most beneficial for them to see this. This, this meet today, doesn't have to be this meet in five 10, 20, 40, whatever years you know. So yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, change is possible and it's the reason. The reason we're here is to like, learn and grow and change and evolve. Right Like that. I truly think we are put on this earth. It's part of my spiritual understanding, in my faith, is we are put on this earth to figure out life lessons, to learn to grow, to evolve. Like that's it, and like you know that's that's how the book ends is like, okay, I'm still learning and growing, see you later. This is where I'm at now. It doesn't end that abruptly, but that's the end.
Speaker 1:But yeah, it's definitely. It's so interesting to think about. Someone said recently like you know, you have a legacy now, like you could die tomorrow and people still know your life story and well, that's a morbid way to think about it.
Speaker 2:But yeah.
Speaker 1:I guess that's true. So yeah, no matter when I may go, I have these stories that hopefully can help people, maybe even after I'm no longer there, to share my stories in community. You know that hope maybe the larger community can still not like that makes it sound like an ego.
Speaker 2:That's not what I'm trying to say.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, I'm continuing the lessons and the learning, because that's what it's all about.
Speaker 2:It is, it absolutely is, and I don't know, but you know, as a young kid you just know I'd, my parents aren't right, nobody older knows anything. And then you're like shit, yep, if only I had and some of that, if you have to go through it yourself. However, like Cheryl was saying, they're not feeling so alone and that is incredible and I think for me that's why, whatever type of art form it is that you have, whether it's music or written prose or, you know, painting or whatever there is a, there is an element of the human and me is now being shared with the human and you, and it's so incredible to be able to have that out there, to connect with someone else, so they don't feel so alone. There's always going to be something that they that speaks to them in a way that not anything else might have, and the fact that you were able to get that out is going to touch other people in a way that they needed to hear it.
Speaker 2:That was beautifully said, thank you, I wrote it down Just kidding, but it's true, I mean. I mean Cheryl knows and the audience probably knows to so much extent now, but like I have my mom's a musician and stuff, and so it was always. Like art is incredibly important in life and I just I feel that you know, if I'm down and I really need to listen to some music, that's going to help a lot of people even feel the sadness. Right, not necessarily getting me out of that, but just to feel that sadness, to know that there are someone else can really understand what is going on at this moment with me is I mean, there's just no way to describe that and art is the way to do that. So yeah.
Speaker 1:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's interesting. I know, when I'm down I like to go to a bookstore Like that's and we happen to have a major chain near us and my husband had to go pick up a CD. And I went there and I said cool, I'll go get a book. So anyway, I purchased five.
Speaker 2:So I sound right.
Speaker 3:So I came home and eerily like devoured one of the poetry books that I had purchased when I had a small break during lunch. So yeah, I agree with you. I think there's something important about. We just had this conversation with Eileen's publisher, actually a while ago, because she had posited to us do you think, do you like audio books or physical books better?
Speaker 3:I am, I'm a fan of both, but I definitely prefer the physical book, and mostly because I folks that know here I have a little free library and it gives me great joy when I see kids come by and they grab a book, because that's something. It's almost like a gift given, right? And I feel that's the way your book is, is it? It's a gift given memoirs. Somebody had given us a quote a while ago and I'm gonna bungle the quote. It's about something about memoirs, our way to see ourselves, and I feel like that again, I couldn't relate to all of your story, but I could relate, certainly, to the fast, certain facets of it, and it was lovely to feel not alone in that moment and also feel all those things that sometimes that gets lost in the workday, like empathy and hope and kindness, and I wanted to personally say I am grateful that your book is out, because I think that people will get a lot of that from you.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, cheryl. That really means a lot. I really appreciate hearing that and, yeah, I mean that's been the most common feedback I've heard. Actually, is this idea of me too, right? Yeah, you know I can relate, or that's similar to my story, and, of course, not all parts of it, but yeah, that's. The whole part of humanity is like we all experience the same life struggles, whether they in varying degrees and in varying circumstances, but they're all the same struggles. Sure, you know it's fear, mm-hmm In all the forms, in all the forms. So, yeah, thank you for sharing that. I appreciate it.
Speaker 2:You're welcome and I mean, I'm not that I wasn't going to have the book. I want it now. How can I order it to make sure that I have it signed?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so if you want it signed, you can just tell me your address and I'll send you a copy. We can make that happen. But yeah, it's on Amazon and it's on Barnes and Noblecom, and then it's also well, you're not local. I was going to say it's not a bookstores, but I did go into the local bookstores and I signed all the copies that were in there, it's so awesome. That was super fun, so yeah, but I can send you a copy for sure.
Speaker 2:Ok, I'll make sure to order it in some of our local bookstores here also, so that they can see it and have it come sort of so.
Speaker 3:I know that helps.
Speaker 2:Oh, of course, Absolutely. So I know we're kind of we're getting close to the hour, and I don't I mean Cheryl, this happens more often than not that we're like we could probably keep talking for another few hours, if I'm being honest, yes, and we're trying to be conscientious of other people's time.
Speaker 2:So, with that being said, when I get to our sort of last infamous question is the this is happening. So for us, right, it is this feeling of something that that we get, that we know is on our hearts, that that we won't feel is, you know, filled until we've able to, to complete it or or to do it. This podcast came because of those three words, many other examples that you know it's not necessarily a bucket list type of thing, but it's, it's a call to action and call to our heart and our purpose. So, you know, do you have anything that you feel that this is happening is applicable to? Are there more books? So, is there anything else kind of coming out next or things that you're focusing on that you know this is happening.
Speaker 1:Great question. There are no more books inside of my soul. I will say that.
Speaker 2:And you know that you just know it.
Speaker 1:Nope, that was, that was all I had. That was everything, but no, a few. Two things actually come to mind. One is I do want to continue with these learning circles that I've been doing and trying to reach more people with them. I think gathering in community and being able to just share what's on your heart is so powerful, and you know whether we use my own book or whether we use other books.
Speaker 2:you know I I still want to keep reading a million other books, because that's what I love to do.
Speaker 1:So I want to be able to talk about what I, what we can learn and take from those other people's stories. So yeah, the learning circles I want to do more of. I've been doing them once a month for like a fall semester and a spring semester, but I think I can, you know, add in others and try to make that, try to reach more people that way. But the other thing that came to mind is actually work related.
Speaker 1:So I work in a local college and I'm really excited that I just got a promotion and oh yeah, thank you, and they're allowing me to hire someone else to work alongside me, and I'm really excited to see the growth there and to be able to like work with someone and mentors you know, a new professional and really trying to make some big changes at work.
Speaker 1:You know, as in the intro it said, I work with young people around alcohol and other drugs and health and wellness. I really try to be, you know, an advocate for healthy living and healthy lifestyles and it's really important for young people to try to find some of these coping skills as early as possible, right, and so I'm really excited to see what, what work we can do with systematic change. I think for a long time in my career I was working on programming events, hosting a yoga workshop, hosting you know, hosting trainings, but now I'm able, with the promotion, I'm able to think more big picture and I'm able to think about how we can actually make change at the root causes and at the systems level. So I'm really excited to dive into what all that means for for our campus.
Speaker 2:That's amazing and the stuff that will change lives.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think so. Congratulations, I think so. Thank you Very excited Sweet.
Speaker 3:Sweet Katie. How can people connect with you on social media or elsewhere?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so definitely follow me on insta. That's where most of my my stuff will be, and it's Katie being wellness. I'm also Katie being wellness at on YouTube A lot of the meditations that are in the book I have. I read them on YouTube so that you know you can actually close your eyes and enjoy the meditation rather than reading it and trying to follow along. So definitely check those out, and my website is be an agent for change dot com or being agent for change.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh Even better and I love you even more now. Also, I'm definitely going on to your YouTube right after this, because I feel like I could use one of those meditations, so thank you, check it out.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much. I appreciate it and it's. I've had so much fun chatting with you all, so I really appreciate taking your time and enjoying good conversation over a cup of tea on a Friday night. This has been lovely.
Speaker 3:That's awesome. Thank you so much and thank you for joining us. This concludes our episode of you. Only go once. Take care everyone Bye.
