You Only Go Once (Y.O.G.O.)
Cheryl and Eileen explore different topics around the limited time we have on this earth to create a fully layered life. Because...You Only Go Once!
You Only Go Once (Y.O.G.O.)
Creating Intentional Harmony in Parenting and Beyond with Jenna Hermans
Have you ever felt caught in life's whirlwind, especially after the life-changing event of becoming a parent? Jenna Hermans joins us to share her journey from a world turned upside down to one of profound tranquility. As an expert in psychology and human resources, mother, and entrepreneur, Jenna unfolds her story in her insightful book "From Chaos to Calm," offering strategies to navigate through life's storms. Listen as we chat about the art of creating peace within chaos and fostering a life of intention that soothes the nervous system and the soul.
Stepping into the realm of courage and personal boundaries, Jenna's experiences at Be Courageous reveal the subjective nature of bravery and its myriad faces. Whether it's through the laughter of friends or the intimate negotiations about music volume in a marriage, Jenna demonstrates that courage is not one-size-fits-all. Her mission to inspire one billion moments of courage underscores the significance of psychological safety in nurturing bravery in both our personal and professional lives. This episode is a journey into the heart of what it means to stand tall in the face of life's varied challenges.
Wrapping up with practical wisdom, Jenna guides us through the 'Five Pillars of Calm' – efficient use of our natural energy, healthy habits, the power of community, effective communication, and genuine self-care. Each pillar offers a refuge from the overwhelm of daily life and a step towards a more serene existence. By embracing her relatable anecdotes and actionable advice, we're invited to not just listen but transform our own lives. And remember, with Jenna's newsletters and blog posts, we're just a click away from extending this calm to others – because life, after all, is a journey we only take once.
Hi, this is Jenna Hermans. When you look back on your life, I hope you live with intentionality, compassion, courage and calm, because you only go once.
Speaker 2:Hello, hello, hello everyone. Welcome to you. Only Go Once where we explore stories around the limited time we have on this earth to create a fully layered life. I'm joined with my fabulous co-host, Eileen Grimes, and we're here with a great guest, Eileen kick us off.
Speaker 3:Thanks, cheryl. So today we have Jenna Hermans. Jenna is living proof that you can create a life of calm within chaos and overwhelm. She uses her bachelor's degree in psychology, master's degree in organizational management and over 15 years of human resources experience to build strong teams both at work and at home. Jenna is the co-founder of Be Courageous, a busy mama for coach and author, as seen in Forbes, the Sun, elle, yahoo and more. Jenna takes an intentional and inclusive approach to help people, especially parents, implement tools that put organization and system around their busy lives, that infuse calm and more joy, helping them go from chaos to calm, which doubles as the title of her debut book that launched in May of 2023. And I will say that for our listeners who can't see it, we see the book behind Jenna here, so that is very exciting. But welcome Jenna, we are so glad to have you here with us tonight.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to talk to you both today.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so this is just one of my favorite parts of the week, I'll be honest, and Cheryl and I haven't had a chance to talk for a little while, so I always feel like I get an opportunity to just be in her space too, which is wonderful. You're not getting rid of me, my friend, anytime soon. Yeah, so, jenna, I mean one. Your bachelor's in psychology, master's degree in organizational management and 15 years of human resources that is a lot of background to be able to put into something like this. You know, when you're you, you obviously wrote this book and have this, did you? It's interesting. We've had a lot of authors on. Did you always know you wanted to write a book?
Speaker 1:No, I never imagined writing a book. I've always enjoyed writing, but never thought that I would become an author or would publish a book. That was the furthest thought from my mind of something that I would do in this lifetime.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and so I mean, like you hear a lot of people like, oh, it's on my bucket, I have to write my book, I have to write my book. I certainly was not in that camp in any way shape or form, so it's kind of fun just to see what people's journey is into doing that. So just tell us a little bit more. Tell us about yourself and what you're doing and you know what is it that for you? You know, obviously, from chaos to calm means something for you and you know what does that look like in your journey from going to chaos to calm.
Speaker 1:Such a good question, Eileen, and so for me, what, what chaos is, is an interpretation of our environment right.
Speaker 1:Because we as individuals all interpret what's going on in our lives differently. You know, even when we live under the same roof, like my husband, if I hear the kids running around being loud, stomping and being all crazy like as long as no one's crying and screaming I'm like this is great, everyone's having a great time and that is. That's fine for me and for him, he, his nervous system is on fire. He cannot handle that right. It's too much noise, and even if it's happy noise, right. And so the interpretation of chaos and how it affects our nervous system is really the thing that that captured me when I recognized that my nervous system was bright, and that was after our fourth child was born and my, my husband, I, started our business together. Be courageous. That's now. It's been six and a half years, and thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what a what a journey. And having started that business when our youngest was six months old and about, and we had just moved from Los Angeles to San Francisco no friends, no family, no one here around us. So we were building a life from scratch with all these human beings, with a new business. My kid, my big kid's biological mother was still in the picture at the time but then actually was on her way out, and so it was.
Speaker 1:There was so much transition and in the in the becoming of a, of a biological mother and what that means and what that does to the body and the psyche and the spirit, right, my, my nervous system was completely shot. It was all too much and I was having frequent and debilitating panic attacks on the regular and it hit me that this is unsustainable. I don't want to do this anymore and I do have the tools and the ability to figure out right how to do this differently and how to own my own calm inside of myself so that I could show up for my family and my business and myself right as the best person that I could for me, my kids, my husband, my colleagues, my employees, the community at large, definitely.
Speaker 3:I. I mean just what you're saying resonates so, so deeply for me and yeah, I mean I remember my I say this, I've said this before, but you know, having my, my first child, I didn't know how to be a human for at least a year. It's like there is like this, it's like your entire self understanding is ripped apart and now you're trying to fit in this new thing and this whole persona of what it means to be a parent and I just I don't know how these pieces fit anymore. I don't know how to do this, let alone, obviously, taking care of this completely dependent person now on you. And there's just this whole entire shift in that and I mean it's amazing going in and, like you said, finding what that comm is or even just recognizing that you're not in the space of comm and knowing what tools and what resources that you need to find or do for yourself self care. But that's a I mean we could probably go off onto that one, right.
Speaker 3:Which doesn't mean it's going to the spa, but you know, I just I. It speaks so deeply to me in that, and I was also one of six, so growing up with a loud household was very common and just noise constantly was. You know, my mom taught music in the house, so like there wasn't quiet wasn't a thing for us, right. But now having neurodivergent children also, and what that means sensorily is, has made me rethink a lot of those things too. So I appreciate that. So when you talk about your comm, what does that look like for you and how do you, how do you get there and what kind of things are you doing? Or maybe things you can share? We don't want to share the whole book, but just if there's some things that might be helpful for listeners to just be able to pick up on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely the. You know the how I define my calm is well, there's the physiological sense of calm, right, when you're not in fight, fight or freeze, when you are at ease, right, you feel safe and your nervous system isn't activated and you feel regulated right, and so that's kind of baseline physiological, human calmness. But what I like to talk about more specifically with calm and my and my calm and my journey to understanding and figuring out what this concept truly, truly is, is and this 10, when I, when I talk about this, it tends to be a little, I don't want to say, controversial, but it gets people a little heated sometimes, because a lot of people think, you know, when someone's dysregulated, they go calm down, right, and oh, there is no faster way to get someone more dysregulated than to say those words, right. And my response to that is actually I want us to calm up, and calming up is it's not about, you know, the idea of getting slow and getting quiet. Let's sit on, you know, and crisscross applesauce on our pillow and meditate.
Speaker 1:No, that's not what calm is. That is a method to getting calm for some people, but that's not what calm actually is right and the way that I see calm through the research that I've done in my own just personal experience and coaching of people and the workshops and speaking that I do is that calm is actually when you're in flow, when you have energy, and for myself, like I know, I'm calm when I am thinking creatively, when I feel energized and I am actually in high energy, right Versus low and slow and quiet.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just the be calm piece. Definitely I can see Cheryl. I could tell you, if I told Cheryl to be calm, I don't even live close to her anymore, but she might boot me halfway across the world.
Speaker 2:It's, and I've had this conversation so many times. It's become a running joke with my manager and it's our running joke that we say so. My manager and work and I were both Italian Americans and we say that there's a trigger word that if you tell anybody, relax you better run is what should happen. Right, and it's funny because I hear what you're saying, because we talked about the beginning, about how you have kids and if they're like high energy and they're doing stuff and that's fun, and your husband's like no, thank you, this is too loud. That's kind of how I operate in my space here.
Speaker 2:My husband voraciously in love with music, of all sorts of things. I like music. I don't like music at certain decibels it unnerves me to no end. There are times where I can be perfectly quiet, or if I'm surrounded by the dialogue in a movie, I'm all set right. That to me is like my perfect amount of loud. His is more like Viking metal, heavy metal, all the different metals, any metals that you could explain. He loves it. And then there's like prog music and there's all that stuff and that to me is like there's about five minutes for me where that's calm and then after that I'm like I can't do it anymore, like I need to go away.
Speaker 2:So it's very interesting to hear your concept of calming up, because I would probably need coaching from you on how to do that, because I don't know how that works Exactly, and I love it that. So I was. While you two were chatting, I was looking up your website, be Courageous, which is your company, and I love that. You know, one of your taglines here is our right to exist, right, but it goes beyond. That is what you said, and you have a goal to activate one billion moments of courage. So what does that mean to you exactly? Because everybody has different modes of courage. Like Eileen goes paragliding you know I did this podcast there's levels, so I'd love to hear what your definition of that is and what that goal entails.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I love that you talked about the spectrum, right, because courage for you, eileen, is different than courage for you, cheryl, and which is probably different courage for me, right, based on our backgrounds and our genetics and how we were raised, our cultures and all these different contextual things that make up the human that we are. And so courage is being able to go past that comfort zone area, right Of saying I know that this is what's best. And getting out of your own way, cause, generally it's. We have filters, upright filters, whether they're it's usually in our thinking, right Things, censorship that gets in the way that says no, you can't do that because of some obscure, random voice in your head saying I can't or I shouldn't or something as bad is going to happen.
Speaker 1:When it's you know about having a courageous conversation, right, it could be just words you are actually okay, right, and being able to go and say I'm going to go outside my comfort zone, I am okay, or maybe I even won't be, but I'm going to go and do this thing that is, in my own definitions, right Of this is a courageous thing that I'm going to do because this is my own choice, right, this is, this is coming from my background and my history and my context as well. Right Cause, when we talk about in the workplace, when you have psychological safety in your workplace, you're more likely to be courageous and, to you know, push on a boundary or offer up a creative idea than if you don't have that safety. And so the context really is important when talking about courage in the workplace and as well as in personal life as well. I mean anywhere, right, but the definition is different for every person of what courage means to them.
Speaker 3:Interesting. Well, it's so funny too because, gerald, as you say, some of this too, like yes, I went paragliding. However, to me, that's not courageous. Like I right, like that's not, I know, but that's not. That's not how I def, how I define it. Right, that's I, like I'm, you know, I like doing crazy stuff like that. That's just for me. Like physical things are always really fun for me to push myself further.
Speaker 3:And what I find very courageous, though, is doing for me, is doing things that, like I mean standing up for myself feels courageous. Like that is from someone who has a hard time and has had a hard time historically and has worked on standing up and speaking for myself and speaking for others. When I see that there are things that are not right in the way that we exist in this world, in a way, an organization might be handling specific situations around things. Like, to me that's courageous. And those are the acts where I feel that I'm pushing forward on something that touches my values in a way that if I, if I don't, if I don't act or if I don't say or if I don't do something in those, then I'm going against who I am and I think that that act in and of itself is courageous, so I'm just crazy outside of that.
Speaker 1:No, and you know, I really resonate with that, eileen, because I also am kind of very physical, right, I've done trathlons and marathons and in all of these, and what is it? I've gone skydiving a bunch of times and like, for me, that's, that's not. I never felt like that was something courageous, that I was doing right, I'm quitting a job, when I've when I've quit jobs historically and gone into the unknown, for me that that's not a courageous act. There's a lot of trust in that and in the universe and that I can do this, it's fine. It's hard, but I can do hard things.
Speaker 1:But going and, like you said, standing up for myself or I'm a people pleaser, right, or rather I'm a recovering people pleaser, saying no, yeah, right, like saying no to somebody, that is courageous for me and holding up my boundaries and holding on to my yeses and my no's. That when I step into that, that is a place where I need to hope to get into my courage and say what's the courage needed here in this scenario? Right, and to flex that courage muscle of I need to do what's the greatest good for me, for them, you know, and that usually has to do with my boundaries.
Speaker 2:Oh boundaries.
Speaker 3:I just you're completely correct and I'd feel the same way. So, yeah, because like, oh, I don't need boundaries, I just. Then everyone can do what they need and they feel happy. Right, and that's great for me, and I've learned that over time and it's still something that I'm working on, certainly, so that that resonates pretty deeply for me. What about you, cheryl?
Speaker 2:Cheryl, wow, okay. So I think because I am highly introverted, every stretch outside my comfort zone is a big step towards being somewhat courageous. I do love the quote that's attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt about doing something that scares you. She says at least once a day. I go by once a year and I'm happy, like that's way outside my comfort zone, I'm good. This year it was the podcast and writing a book and getting a book published. Those are the things that were. You know, they were kind of out there in the ether.
Speaker 2:Eileen is the person that helps me jump over my comfort zone line a lot of times because she'll go come on, we can do this, this is happening, we're totally going to do this and this is happening. Okay, you know she's still trying to convince me that at some point we're going to do this podcast with video and I'm not there yet. So baby steps For me. I see it in other people. Eileen and I co-founded a women's group at our organization a while ago and it's been fun watching, but fun and also, you know, internally you pitter patter your heart pitter patters for them. But we've had a lot of women that were like I never thought I could do something like that and it's way outside their comfort zones. But we see that spark in them that we kind of go, yeah, you can do it and I'll go like we'll be here. You know we'll be here with the nets and all the things, but you know we're here.
Speaker 2:I too am a people pleaser. You know there's a saying and I don't know who said it, but you know, if you people who try to please their parents grow up to be people pleasers, right, because you're just keep on going, that that piece right. And I see that in a lot of like my friends and I see it because we all don't want to offend one another. Now I see that in mostly my female friends. My male friends are like, yeah, we're totally doing this and it's cool, like that to them is not a level of courage. That to them, is just why wouldn't I do that? I see that my husband sometimes. So I'll do something and I'm like, and he just goes, what? What are you? What's the noise? Why are you holding on to the side of the car for dear life? Like this is normal stuff. So it's.
Speaker 2:It's interesting the concept of this and I'm sure, jenna, from your perspective, to for for your years and human resources. I'm sure your level of courageousness, that button has been pushed many, many times right, because I admire people and human resources, because the level of calm they have to exhibit, with all the crazy that people do it is like a true testament of why they're in the roles that they are. I don't know where I was going with this, but what I'm saying is I think that with your experience and with all of your, your educational background, this book just seems like a natural transition, right, if you will, to get into this and especially since, now that you're, you know, congratulations you're now a multi type in it success story, because you've got the book, you've got your own business. You are a mother for hyphen it, hyphen it, hyphen it. Right. Where do you think? Where do you draw your courage? You know from from where do you draw your own personal courage? How does that work for you?
Speaker 1:Wow, I've never been asked that before and I really appreciate that question. Thank you for asking it. I would say it depends on the context of where a meeting deflects that courage muscle. And sometimes in my head and immediately went to my husband and kids, is where I tend to pull a lot of that strength of being a role model for my children, being the best partner that I can for my, for my partner, because he's not only my partner in life but he's my business partner. We founded be courageous together and he inspires me to live courageously every day as he, as he does, and I mean his story is is an incredible one as well. But this podcast not about him, that's about me. That's right. And so where I draw the courage, I'd say it's.
Speaker 1:It's something that I've been flexing for a long time and it continues to evolve as I get to know myself better and learn about my own being right. As I evolve, I notice, oh, there's this new evolution of me and I am pretty stoked about that. Right, and I want to continue seeing where it goes. And the only way that I can continue to be on this path of evolution is by being courageous and by by committing to myself that I am. I want to see what I'm capable of and how I can be the best version of myself, and all of the ways, and that continued commitment to myself and to my family and community is what gives me the strength to keep flexing that courage muscle and to keep showing up as being courageous and every decision that I make, because it is, it's, it's micro moments, it's not these big overarching, you know, things that we think of that it's like oh, that was such a courageous choice to make a courageous ask, you know to, I'm going to go to the moon?
Speaker 1:No, that, that guess, that could be courageous, sure, but that's not. You know that it's in these micro moments of making choices that are integrates and intentional and thoughtful of what is, what is the, what are the repercussions of that choice. Right, it could be as simple as what I'm in what am I going to make for dinner? Or how am I going to respond to my kids when they ask me a big question?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Or even a small one, though all of those little things are actually courageous when I come at it with intentionality and from a place of desiring to give my best in every moment.
Speaker 3:I really like what you were saying about the muscle right of it and I'm curious as to if you would agree with this statement from what it sounds like, right. Well, there's two statements. One is that courage can be built over time. Right, you can sort of build that piece up. Maybe we'll pause for a second just to make sure we get Jenna back. There we go. That was totally fine, okay, good. Yeah, so courage can be built over time, and our definition of courage can change over time. You know, as life throws parenting into the mix, as life brings in the passing of loved ones, as heartache becomes a thing, as world events show us different ways of the existence of humanity, and you know, there's so many pieces that then inform us into what courage really means for you now, in this moment, in this time of your life. Would you agree that that's true for both of those things? Yeah, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:I would say that I believe that it's the expression of courage that evolves over time, right, that as we continue our becoming right, that evolution, that our relationship with courage evolves as well when we're intentional about it, when we're thinking, when we actually have a relationship with it, that it evolves as we do, absolutely.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I think for me at least, you know really understanding what that means for me started with a courageous act which was being reflective enough of myself, or taking a second to say, oh shit, who am I, where am I coming from? What does that mean in my life? Like really just taking the moment to turn inward. For me was courageous, because getting a peek, sometimes behind the curtain, can be a terrifying thing, to have to expose yourself and to really look inward and understand who we are. I mean, there was a piece of my journey that was a part of that and very difficult to go through. I assume you work with people who you know to do that kind of work. What does that look like when you're starting some of this work with them?
Speaker 1:You know, there's a lot of vulnerability that ends up being shared right, especially in this work, when you're talking about courage and you're helping someone navigate the complexities of their existence, because it's not ever just oh, let's talk about this one component, even if that's where someone started, right, they're like I'm going to come in and we're just going to talk about how I can elevate in my career, but it's never just about that.
Speaker 1:It is so much more. And so we end up going through so many other elements of life values and priorities, backgrounds, ambitions and goals, and true deep desires and trauma, right of what someone has gone through that's led them to this point, that has then guided them to believe that they want this next thing. And they say, guided them to believe they want it, because a lot of it is messaging that we have received from society, from our families of origin, from school and teachers you know you must be ambitious and you must climb the corporate ladder and you must have children, and you know you must, you must, you must. And, ultimately, when we are clear and with ourselves and have that integrity and the openness and the freedom and courage to listen to what's deep inside of ourselves that we've been pushing down and not allowing ourselves to think about, let alone believe, that there's usually so much more that comes from our time together that influences every part of life, not just the trajectory of their career.
Speaker 3:Absolutely, yeah, I mean, and it's incredible to what having doing that individually, but then also when you're able to do that in community or in a shared space with someone else, like there is something, I just think there's something magical that happens when one you're going through that, but then also being seen and feeling seen and heard through that just puts a completely different layer into that. And I mean God, cheryl was there for a lot of my stuff and I'm like Cheryl, I am having an existential crisis today. Can I please talk to you for a minute? But there is something about that that you know. It's like do I exist? What are these things that I'm feeling, and how does that look in real life? And I just think that there's something so incredibly important about having someone else. So having someone like you, jenna, go through this with them can be nothing but helpful.
Speaker 1:Yeah, one thing I like to do with my clients is do an inventory right. We don't just jump in and go straight to the work. We just have to assess the desire of what brought them to me in the first place. Let's go there, of course, but I think there's so many layers to understand before we get to the end result, Because the end result may be a lot different or it might be the same, but to have that foundation right, to understand what the legs are behind, why they came to me in the first place, right, as opposed to somebody else also, I mean, anyone who comes to me is not coming to me just because they want to grow their career.
Speaker 1:Honestly, it's like that's definitely something they want, but I am not the coach that's just here to do that. Right, I talk about calm and chaos and you know, and high productivity amongst all the crazy that's going on around us. And to understand what our foundations are and, like I said, the legs, the infrastructure of our lives, is when someone's able to really look at that right, like, put it into a Petri dish and put their microscope on top and say, oh what is all of this.
Speaker 1:Why is it this way?
Speaker 2:Is it working?
Speaker 1:for me. Do I like this? How is this benefiting me? Or is it not Just understand the foundation and the roots that infrastructure, get that solid and then, when I'm feeling like I'm on solid ground now, I can go up. I can stand on that with my two feet so strongly and be able to go wherever I want.
Speaker 2:I think what you've described as a courage sabbatical. I love that. How many people in corporate America would love a courage sabbatical? Because we're always. You know, I talk about corporate America because I'm in corporate America. This applies to every working human being that is out there. So my apologies, I don't mean to just focus on one particular demographic of working America. But that said, though and I think it's ingrained like not in us just genetically, but culturally, because everybody's, you know, there are people coming here from different countries that are going we want to live the American dream, and then it really is like you're going to work your, you know, your yas-yas off to get to that American dream. Sometimes it's not just like, hey, I've arrived. Or, you know, for women, there's always this thing around like oh, you're so strong, you're a mom and you're a working mom and you know, you know you have to be the travel person and you have to take care of this. And the same thing for dads, right, like they've got to be the breadwinners and all that other stuff.
Speaker 3:Sometimes we don't want to be that strong.
Speaker 2:We just want to live and exist and be and all of those things. And what a gift that you provide is this courage sabbatical where you can actually like, take a breath and say what you know. What is it? What are actually my drivers? Because I think a lot of people walk away going like, oh, I don't have to make a billion dollars to feel as though I am a fulfilled human being. Oh, I don't have to do X, y and Z, oh, I don't have to tackle the entire universe all by myself.
Speaker 2:I love this, like I love what you're doing and I think, even on a small scale, like you know, listeners out there listen. You know we're not going to program it into saying, buy Jenna's book, although it sounds like a great idea. But maybe, you know, just take a moment and think about what's important to you and you know, kind of, create your own courage sabbaticals. You know, take a moment to yourselves. And I know there are some people out there that are laughing like what minute, what time? Who's going to do it? I get that and I respect that space a lot because a lot of people don't have the time, but we're only on this planet for a short period of time, and I think it behooves us to kind of create that space for ourselves, even if it's five minutes a day, to kind of go okay, like what makes me. You know what do I need? That will make me whole today, so this is really cool.
Speaker 1:I think you brought up something that I love talking about and its intentionality around spending even just a couple of moments right in a day whether it be at the start, in the middle or at the end, or all three right of being able to do a check in with yourself. Right, and it doesn't need to take long. It can take just 60 seconds right of checking in how am I showing up right now? How am I doing? Am I okay, right, is my body okay? Doing a body check, doing an emotion check, a thinking check. Right and without judgment. It's not saying, oh man, I should change this or I should change that, rather just noticing, when you just take that moment to notice how am I doing and then give yourself some grace and say that's how I'm doing right now and be able to maybe approach the next thing that you're meant to show up for with that conscientiousness of your presence right of where you are currently at. It doesn't take long, not at all.
Speaker 2:I was just thinking. We recently talked to Lang Rickers and she talked about how she read a book called the Artist's Way and I think that gave her some focus. Right, she would wake up in the morning and, without talking to anybody, getting a cup of coffee none of that she would sit down and write three pages worth of words in a journal and I think that for her, was her courage sabbatical, she could get all her feelings out and stuff like that start the day, that kind of thing. So we did the help. Okay, I love the intentionality of this and I love the you know what works for you, because sometimes it could be as simple as you know.
Speaker 2:Having this could sound weird, but having shower thoughts Everybody's got to take a shower at some point or a bath, you know, maybe that's the time where you focus. You know, I have friends that have made it a point to you know, go and find some unique workout period where they go and kind of focus on themselves and do that kind of thing. My one friend, her you know her time to herself is her Starbucks run. So it all just depends on where you want to focus, where you want to get that calm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, and it only takes you know it. With that intentionality, you can do these micro moments right and the micro moments that that add up right. If you do just a 1% change over time, that makes a huge impact Right. And you know, one of my favorite analogies is the Grand Canyon, how it wasn't built in a day, right.
Speaker 1:Start off as this tiny little stream of water just making its way, persistently, just going right, and over time persistence wears down resistance. Over time it's carving through massive stone, massive, massive, and making this huge crater in the ground Right. But it was just because it was persistent. This tiny little thing was persistent and over time, made this gigantic, huge, amazing change in this world.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the Grand Canyon is I'm actually. Did you read my sweatshirt? That's what I have on right now.
Speaker 1:I did not see that that is too funny.
Speaker 3:So, yes, agreed, and that I mean I don't know. I just I get I was blown away when I went there to visit and I mean it's incredible, just incredible, and makes you feel I mean the saying that it's I was full of awe, was I just like there is no other way to put it you feel so small, in the most amazing way possible when just understanding and seeing something so massive and beautiful. So anyway, yes, it's funny, I'm wearing it and we're talking about it, so it's meant to be so with this we have, we have oh my gosh, we're almost at time, but we have. I have two questions for you. First and foremost, can you tell people a little bit more about the book, just so that, if they're, if they're thinking about you, know they've loved this conversation. What, what and who would this book be targeted towards and what can they kind of? What will people expect to see or what are they? What would they be hoping for to get from this book when they go check it out?
Speaker 1:Sure, so it's called Chaos to Calm Five Ways Busy Parents Can Break Free from Overwhelm. And, funny enough, the book is not just for parents, it is. You know, there's that word on the top, on the front of the cover, because that's what I am. I am a busy parent and my agent wanted me to have a, you know, a niche audience to, oh yeah, to market towards. But but the book, right, you both, you're there, you know.
Speaker 1:But the meat and potatoes of the book is for anyone who feels overwhelmed, like it's all too much, like the they're, they're not running their lives, their lives are running them, right, that they're just reacting to all the possibilities and the to do lists and the things. There's just so much to do and you're just so bogged down by it all and it's all just too much. Right, you're again. Your nervous system is shot, you're feeling overwhelmed or stressed and don't feel like you have that space for you or you've lost touch with yourself. Right, and how to get it back. How do I make that time for me? Like you were saying earlier, cheryl, like there's people listening, they're going. I don't have two minutes, right, and I can, I can show you, right, I tell you how you can find those two minutes right.
Speaker 1:And so the book is five chapters that are catered to the five pillars of calm, the first one being efficiency right, how do we get the things done that we have to do in a way that maximizes our natural cycles, utilizing our time, our energy right and our task efficiency as well? Right, we have so much we need to do. How do we get it done with this little to no energy as possible and maximizing our own time and energy flows throughout the day, the week, the month, you know at cyclical beings that we are? The second one is habits right, how to create habits that that support our calm and being conscientious and aware of the ones that that don't serve us? Also, right.
Speaker 3:Oh boy, those habits.
Speaker 1:Yeah yeah, there are so many doom scrolling for the win.
Speaker 3:Yeah, oh, totally For sure.
Speaker 1:Habits that don't serve. And the third one is community. Right, we have so many people around us that we tend to not lean on because of the way that our society has been created. Right, our capitalistic society, our nuclear families, all of us in our homes. You know so many people not living near families anymore. Right, we moved away from from our families, my husband's from South Africa. He is no one. Everyone's an ocean away. Mine, thankfully, are just, you know, at the southern part of the state, but still far away, not close by, and so.
Speaker 1:But there are ways to utilize our community to support our calm that we tend to not think about Before being communication. How do we effectively communicate with those around us? Right, to support our calm? Right, by using listening. Right that, yes, you're not talking, but you are communicating by just listening and understanding how listening affects calm and trust and building rapport, so that when you do have something that you need to say, you have a relationship already built there. Right, so that's just one little thing. And then the last pillar of calm, my favorite, that I lean, you already talked about for a moment.
Speaker 1:You're like, nope, we can't go there because we will spend way too much time self care and that it is systemic, it is sustainable. It is not, you know, a spa day. It's not a self care Sunday. Let's go get our nails done. And I mean, don't get me wrong, I love myself a good massage, my nails done, that makes me feel great. But that is not systemic deep self care. That is surface, and so that that's what the book is in a nutshell, and inside there are stories from clients. There are real actionable things to do. There are lists here. Go do this, check it off the list. There's a recap at the end. Okay, like you're a busy person, you can open up any page throughout this book and get goods. Get the goods straight away. You don't have to go filtering through it. Where do I find what I'm looking for? No, it is all right there, easy to find, easy to read and hopefully you laugh a little bit along the way and a little humor in there.
Speaker 3:Oh, I love that. So it's not like going to one of those recipe blogs where you have to read the whole backstory of how wheat was created before you can get the recipe.
Speaker 1:Oh, God, I jumped jump to recipe. Jump every time.
Speaker 3:Right, I get it. I know it's an art form and all the things and they're getting paid and I understand. Also, I just really want the recipe and that's where I'm at. So, um, yeah, no, jenna, this is really incredible. So definitely recommend people to go check that book out, because I mean, even just from our conversation here, I think there's so much that's going to be incredibly helpful.
Speaker 3:And I love I personally love jumping into a book. I love Glenn and Doyle's untamed. So I was like I'm so busy, I don't, I can read a chapter that was like five pages and then maybe put it down for like a month because I just had so many things to do, and then I jump back and I was like, oh, I don't, I'm fine, I'm okay with this. So it sounds like there's some things that you know. That's kind of an approach you can even take with this, which is, for someone like me, very helpful, and I don't then also feel like I've failed again with something else because I haven't just finished it cover to cover Though maybe you will, and that's great Also. But yeah, I love the idea that you're catering also to people that have real lives and need actionable, easy to access material right away.
Speaker 1:It's on audible to because for me right. I, I listened to most of my books. That's how I get my reading in is through listening. So that it was so important to me that, as soon as the book came out and audio version came out as well, because busy parents, busy people in general, I see you. I see you, I feel you Listen while you're brushing your teeth in the morning, if that's the right time for you, in the car, dropping off people commuting, whatever it is, it's that this book is for you.
Speaker 3:Yeah, now that's amazing. So we have one last question before we go into sharing where people can find you also. But so we have this, as Cheryl kind of alluded to earlier the saying that this is happening right and so for us, that is this sort of declaration of having something that that feels like it's on your heart, that you need to create in this world, to bring into this world to do or share, or something that you just don't want to leave behind, saying that you haven't done it and it's not a bucket list item per se. You know, sometimes travel and things like that can be a part of it, but it's really more about, you know, the impact that we want to make on this world and or how we want to show up for ourselves and for the people around us. So if you have anything that might be existing on your this is happening list coming up here sometime in the future, perpetuating kindness.
Speaker 3:I love that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, me too, see that. And an allowance of the compassion and allowance of courage, right of recognizing that I want to, for myself to live every day with intentionality and pushing my own limits in a positive way, and to role model that for anyone I interact with, that you have the permission. I'm granting you permission. Here's your open invitation to live your most courageous life, your most integrative life, and one that you feel good about. Right, that you are happy and satisfied and feeling like you are not settling that you were, you were enjoying this existence that you have because it's yours and yours alone.
Speaker 3:Well, I think we have our quote for the episode, cheryl, so nailed it All right. No, but that's truly. That is beautiful. Sorry, that would I made a joke. That's not funny. It is amazing. Like that is, that is incredible, and I can get behind that 100 percent and I only hope that you can keep living that out loud. And you know, those are the kind of things that spread and we need more of that in this world. So if we can support you in any way also, let us know. But that is amazing and I hope it just keeps growing. So thank you so much, jenna. No, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1:I leave it in Cheryl for giving me the platform to share.
Speaker 2:This has been an absolute joy and we want to extend the invitation to others. So, jenna, how do people connect with you?
Speaker 1:Jennahermanscom right.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:There's my website. I have a newsletter that I send out twice a month that just shares ways to be calm right To find calm in the everyday moments. There's calm to do's and it's like here's what you can do right now.
Speaker 1:No right now. Just do this little thing right now to help you in your calm, in addition to bigger concepts, with my blogs that come out and all of that. So, again, it's just around spreading and sharing the calm and because it has a ripple effect, right, if you're calm, it has a ripple around everyone around you. Right, your energy just perpetuates. And I'm on Instagram, jenna Z Hermans, and LinkedIn, jenna Hermans. If you Google, bing, yahoo, whatever search engine, jenna Hermans, you will find me.
Speaker 2:That's great. Jenna, thanks so much for your time On behalf of Eileen and myself, thanks everybody once again for listening in and remember you only go once. Take care everyone Bye.
